


Can You Lyft Me Up?

by Mullsandmutts



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff fluff and more fluff, Hockey Player Jonny, Introducing Miss Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane, M/M, Miscommunication, Original character death in past, loss of a parent, meet cute, mentions of bullying, single parent Patrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-23 20:31:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17087237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mullsandmutts/pseuds/Mullsandmutts
Summary: Even high profile athletes like Chicago Blackhawks Captain Jonathan Toews are forced to utilize paid transportation from time to time. An accidental "share my ride" selection on an app results in a life-altering ride with an mouthy Russian driver (Artemi), an unfairly attractive single father (Patrick Kane) and his adorable sassy (and color-matching-challenged) preschool daughter (introducing Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane aka Mo). Jonathan refuses to feel too sketch when he negotiates a plan with the driver to "accidentally" have more shared rides with his new friends. When Mo has a traumatic incident at day camp, Patrick's heart is broken and Jonny enlists the help of Temi and the ever-meddling Patrick Sharp to get smiles back on both Kane faces. Jonathan finds himself more and more drawn to Patrick but Patrick's fears of being a good enough parent for Mo and meeting all of her needs could keep them apart. Will Temi, the Sharp family and a trio of nosy aunts in Buffalo be enough to help Jonathan and Patrick realize what they could have together or will Patrick's stubbornness and Jonathan's fear of ruining their friendship keep them apart? Stay tuned to find out ....





	Can You Lyft Me Up?

**Author's Note:**

> First, thanks so much to the organizers and supporters of the Blackhawks Big Fic Energy Challenge. So many amazing stories to read over the holidays. Well done to everyone! 
> 
> Secondly, thank you so much to my incredible artist Oldlace -- please take a moment to review her workbecause it's absolutely beautiful and I am humbled. Like, not even kidding -- every tiny bit of it works so perfectly and I am simply stunned. If my technology skills pan out, the cover page is at the top but check out the bottom when you're done reading for Miss Mo's own special art.
> 
> Next, thanks to my awesome beta and cheerleader Starzgrl -- she didn't get to review the entire thing as I was scrambling to finish on time so if there be any errors, that's all on me. 
> 
> Sadly, I had a lot more that these characters wanted to say (particularly Mo -- she has LOTS to say) but life got in the way and time ran out and I apologize to them and to you all if it feels incomplete. I promise I will go back and add some additional scenes (yes, Starzgirl -- the sex scene in particular) when life slows down a minute. 
> 
> I hope this gives you all a well-deserved smile over the holidays and I wish you all a blessed holiday season!!!

"

Jonny pulled the collar of his coat up tighter around his neck and settled the toque a bit further down onto his ears. He peered down at the Lyft app on the screen of his iPhone, squinting to read the license plate and peer at the tiny photo of the driver. He was apparently waiting for a black Cadillac with a license plate of CBJ09 At least the driver, Artemi, didn’t look like a serial killer or Russian mobster or anything in his picture.

Generally, being the admitted control freak he was, Jonny preferred to drive his own car or ride with one of the older guys on the team. But it turned out that even luxury vehicles have random starter issues from time to time. Therefore, while his car was in the very expensive repair shop, he was forced to rely on cab or Lyft drivers, friends, or public transportation. Public transportation was just a disaster waiting to happen and he didn’t want to force anyone to wait around for him if he had late meetings with the coaching staff. Lyft it was.

His phone buzzed with the notification that his driver was arriving just as he saw the black Cadillac with tinted windows pull up to the player’s exit. Artemi got out of the car, wearing a full black track suit, complete with gold chain peeking out of his neckline. Artemi popped the trunk, smiling politely and clearing space for Jonny to throw his bag into the trunk.

“Thanks, man,” Jonny offered and was met with the same polite smile and a gesture toward the rear passenger-side door. Jonny wondered if the kid spoke any English.

Jonny threw open the back door and started to climb into the back seat, freezing halfway when suddenly met with a pair of nearly identical wide blue eyes and blond curls. One pair of big eyes belonged to a tiny girl. The other belonged to a guy close to Jonny’s age and who must have been her father.

“Uh, hey, there?” Jonny blinked, brain trying to process the appropriate next move. His words snapped the blondes out of it, the older one recovering with slightly more quickly than the small one.

“Is share ride,” Artemi stared back over the front seat as if Jonny was a moron. “Is option choice you make on app, yes?”

“Uh, I guess,” Jonny offered dumbly, feeling his cheeks pink with embarrassment as his seatmates watched the scene unfold.

“Is mistake maybe?” Artemi shrugged. “You make select wrong option. This happens.”

“Dude, no problem,” the father, who was maybe Jonny’s age and blinking like crazy, started to gather up the child’s backpack. “We can get out and grab a bus or something. It’s totally cool.”

“It’s like twenty-two degrees outside,” Jonny countered quickly. He should know, his ass was still poking out into the cold air with the door open.

“Don’t for to be stupid,” Artemi huffed. “Mistake made. Oh well. Now you meet nice family and make with friend times. Climb in - is cold for small girl.”

That, more than anything, struck Jonny with a bolt of guilt, causing him to scramble into the car and slam the door shut behind him.

“Oh, man ... I’m so sorry,” Jonny sputtered. “Is she okay?” He looked frantically over to her father.

The father reached down and tugged on the child’s blond curls poking out from under a homemade knit cap. Jonny was pretty sure if he squinted hard enough would be shaped like the face of a dragon on her head.

“She’s totally fine.” The father’s face broke into a full grin when the child let out a grumpy huff and slapped at his hand.

“Daaaaaaad,” she whispered in the loudest, most frustrated not-whisper whisper ever, “you’re embarrassmented me.”

“Embarrassing. And score,” the father not-whisper whispered back, “then I’m totally nailing this fatherhood thing today.”

Jonny watched the way the father looked down at the child with an unbridled fondness. Something twisted in his gut, tweaking him in a tiny spot that no amount of money, success, and achingly beautiful women (and on discreet occasion, men) seemed to be able to fill.

“I’m telling gramma that you’re doing the teasering again,” the little girl crossed her tiny arms over her chest and offered a smug look up at her dad.

“Teasing. And you know what happens to tattle-tales, right?” The dad poked the girl in her ribs until she giggled.

Jonny pretended to busy himself with his phone, hoping his face wasn’t demonstrating how endearing he was finding the private little family scene.

Out of the corner of his eye, he took stock of the little girl sitting next to him. He thought she was tiny before but now he could see she was basically a little bird, all bony knees and tiny feet. Jonny was no expert on what little girls wear, his only experience that of whatever Abby or the other wives decided was fashionable enough to immaculately dress their daughters in for get-togethers and games. But he was pretty sure they would faint in their Hannah Anderson and Lululemon at whatever it was that this child was wearing.

The orange and purple homemade knitted cap on her head was indeed shaped like a dragon complete with spikes on the top, wings on the side, and a tail trailing down the back and snarling into her curls. Her parka was some kind of glittery zebra print with a pink tiara across the chest. She was wearing a purple skirt over green and blue striped leggings. Her fuzzy red boots had bows and sequins where her little feet barely dangled over the edge of the seat.

Part of Jonny wanted to punch the father for letting her go outside looking like that. But the bigger part of him wanted to high-five him for encouraging her to laugh in the face of conformity. It was such a horrific clash of color and patterns that on any other child, Jonny was fairly certain he would get vertigo. But on this one, it somehow worked charmingly.

“Dad,” she not-whisper whispered again. Jonny didn’t look over but assumed the dad must not be paying attention because he didn’t answer. “Daaaaaad.” She tried again. Nothing.

Jonny heard her huff out a frustrated breath. He almost dropped his phone when she suddenly shouted, “PATRICK KANE!”

Jonny’s head snapped up. The father’s head - Patrick apparently - snapped up. Even Artemi’s head snapped up and he swerved the car a little.

“Jesus,” Patrick reached down and picked up the phone that had flown out of his hand when she shouted. “What was that for?”

“Ooooh, gramma is gonna be so mad,” the little girl was a mixture of scandalized and delighted. “You’re not ‘posed to say the Baby Jesuses name like that.”

“Jesus. Only one.” Patrick started. “Baby Jesus would probably say His own name and drop His phone if you shouted at Him like that.” He leaned in and lowered his voice but Jonny could still hear, “Are you an ill-mannered child, Mo?”

“What?” She gasped, outraged. “No.”

“Well, when you act like that,” Patrick’s voice was still low, “strangers like the people in the car with us are going to think you’re an ill-mannered child. Is that what we want?”

She released a long-suffering sigh and reached up to grasp her father’s cheeks in her tiny hands.

“Dad,” she not-whispered whispered as she looked up at him, face clutched in her hands. “I’m gonna need you to focusered. Do you KNOWED who that is?”

Jonny winced. Unless she was talking about Artemi, it would appear she had recognized Jonathan Toews, Captain of the Chicago Blackhawks. He was honored, always loved when the littlest fans recognized him. But it could turn an already odd car ride into an even more awkward situation.

“Focus and know. And, Mo,” Patrick’s tone was amused, eyes drifting up to Jonny’s. “I know you are still in that awesome phase where you think no one can hear you unless you want them to hear you, but chances are not only do I know that you know who he is, but now he also knows that you know who he is. So, you should probably stop being rude and talking about him as if he doesn’t exist and perhaps instead introduce yourself.”

“Oh. My. Goldfish.” She groaned and put her hands over her face, dropping dramatically into the seat. Patrick met Jonny’s eyes above her head and smiled hesitantly.

“Goldfish?” Jonny mouthed questioningly.

“She’s not allowed to say G-O-D unless she’s praying,” Patrick supplied.

“And you’re not ‘posed to say J-U-P-E-Q but here we are,” she dropped her little arms into her lap and looked up at the heavens as if she were begging to be taken by the deity Himself.

“What is she, like fifteen?” Jonny asked without thinking and then snapped his mouth shut at his rudeness. Patrick just barked out a surprised laugh while Mo turned and narrowed her eyes at Jonny.

“I’m four and three quarters,” she said haughtily.

“I’m very sorry for assuming,” Jonny quickly apologized.

“It’s okay,” her mood flashed back to cheery and she shot him a brilliant dimpled grin. “People tell me I act much older than I am lots of the time. Cuz I’m mashurt.”

“Mature. Cuz you’re mouthy, you mean,” Patrick corrected with a raised eyebrow.

“Cuz I gots some sass, Aunt Jackie says,” Mo turned back to Jonny and waggled her eyebrows adorably.

Jonny found himself hopelessly charmed.

“That’s why you don’t get to hang out with Aunt Jackie too much,” Patrick said pointedly. Then he leaned down to whisper something in her ear and her eyes got wide.

Jonny watched as she sat up tall in her seat, flattened her skirt over her knees, straightened her hat, and tugged down on the end of a few curls. Finally, she took a deep breath and turned to him with a big smile, thrusting out a tiny hand with a green and yellow mitten dangling from the wrist.

“Hello. I am Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane and you are Jonny Toews and it is very nice to meet you and I hope I have not offendered you.”

“Offended,” Patrick corrected in a low tone.

“Offended,” She amended and then smiled even more winningly. Jonny smiled back, taking her warm tiny hand in his and shaking it gently.

“Hello, Miss Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Jonny said with all of the solemnity he could muster. “That is some name, eh?”

“I only get called by all the names by gramma when I’m in big trouble,” she grinned, blue eyes flashing.

“Which is like what, twenty-two out of twenty-four hours?” Patrick chirped behind her and earned a tiny elbow to the gut.

Jonny beckoned her forward and leaned down conspiratorially.

“Does your daddy always tease you like that?” He asked, eyes looking up at Patrick, a little dazzled by the depth of blue gazing back.

“Yup and it makes gramma so frustrationed,” Mo nodded, curls bouncing.

“Frustrated,” Patrick corrected.

“Frustrated,” Mo corrected. “But it’s ok. Aunt Jessica says he only does it because we’re the same size and matruity levels.”

“Maturity,” Patrick said dryly. “And I guess your days of hanging with Aunt Jessica are numbered too.”

“You have a lot of aunts,” Jonny offered diplomatically.

“Just three,” Mo replied. “But the best three in the whole world.”

“How much did that cost them?” Patrick snorted.

“A coupon for the Zoo, Aunt Jackie’s old Hannah Montana pillow case, and this,” Mo unzipped her parka and a pink zippered hoodie underneath to reveal a red #19 Jonathan Toews Players T-shirt.

“Well look at that,” Jonny smiled sheepishly. “Did they get that for you because I’m your favorite player?”

“Nope,” she shook her head as she zipped her jacket back up. Jonny was fairly certain he heard Patrick bite back a cackle at what must be the look on his face. “They got it for me cuz you are my daddy’s favorite player.” The cackle turned to a choke.

Jonny’s eyes flew up to Patrick’s face just in time to see his eyes slam shut and his face turn beet red.

“Is that right?” Jonny chuckled low, immensely intrigued by the embarrassment on Patrick’s features.

“Yep,” Mo said proudly, oblivious to her father’s embarrassment as she continued to work at her zippers, brow furrowed and tongue sticking out in concentration. “Aunt Erica says Daddy can’t get enough of watchin’ Jonny Toews.”

“You should probably forget you even have aunts,” Patrick gritted out, refusing to open his eyes.

“Can’t,” Mo shrugged and sat back against the seat to look at Jonny. “Aunt Erica says Daddy follows Jonny Toews’ corset ...”

“Corsi,” Patrick sighed and let his head fall back against the seat, apparently giving up.

“Corsi,” Mo corrected. “that Daddy follows Jonny Toews’ Corsi close cuz he’s compersating ...”

“Compensating,” Patrick offered weakly.

“Compensating,” Mo chirped away, “for the fact that he would actually rather follow Jonny Toews’ butt ...”

“Mo!” Patrick flew up and clapped a hand over her mouth. His cheeks were flaming and he was staring at her like she grew a second head. “What the hell are your aunts teaching you?”

Jonny was pretty sure he made out a muffled “You owe five dollars for the cussing jar” behind Patrick’s hand.

As much as he was truly enjoying Patrick’s embarrassment and apparent fanhood, Jonny decided to give the obviously flabbergasted Patrick a break and asked, “Well if I’m your daddy’s favorite player, then who is your favorite player?”

“Patrick Sharpy,” she sighed dreamily as Patrick dropped his hand.

This time Jonny made the choking noise. Patrick Sharp was one of Jonny’s biggest pains in the ass and also best and most trusted friends. It was a complicated relationship that bordered on homicide regularly.

“Problem?” Patrick asked with a knowing smirk.

“No,” Jonny gritted out with a smile. “Patrick Sharp is one of my very good friends. I will have to tell him I met one of his biggest fans.”

Mo’s eyes were wide in awe.

“You KNOWED him?” she whispered.

“Know and probably yes since they’re teammates, Mo,” Patrick offered, which she ignored, her big blue eyes glued to Jonny’s face.

“Yep,” Jonny smiled. “I’ve known him for a very long time. Longer than you’ve been alive.”

“Wow. You’re so lucky,” she smiled and sat back, staring off into the distance dreamily.

“That’s one word for it,” Jonny replied dryly. “So, if I’m your Daddy’s favorite, and Sharpy is your favorite, then who is your mommy’s favorite?”

“I don’t have a mommy,” Mo’s reply was so matter-of-fact that Jonny’s heart clenched and his eyes flew up worriedly to Patrick’s, who smiled softly and shook his head as if to say it was okay.

“But what do you have?” Patrick chimed in over her shoulder.

“The best daddy in the world,” she chirped and smiled up at him with a look that said she one hundred percent believed that to be the fact.

“Give me some,” Patrick held out a hand for a high-five and she reached up and slapped it. Fairly hard.

“Plus,” she turned back and grinned at Jonny, “the three best aunts in the world.”

“What’s that going to cost them?” Jonny asked, mimicking Patrick’s earlier question.

“Ohhhhh since I said it to Jonny Toews,” she rubbed her little hands together gleefully, “something pretty good.”

“How about I get you something pretty good if you don’t tell your aunts about this,” Patrick offered with a pained expression.

“That’s lyin and lyin is wrongful,” she said, scandalized.

Patrick didn’t even try to correct her, just let his shoulders slump in defeat.

“So,” Jonny asked, changing the subject carefully, “are you taking the Lyft somewhere special today?”

“Camp!” Mo chirped cheerfully.

“We’re coming home from science day camp. She has camp this week and next week. Normally her nanny would pick her up but his mom is sick so he had to leave town.”

“Shawzy isn’t a nanny, Daddy,” Mo corrected. “He’s a manny.”

“He’s half of the reason you’re so sassy and I should fire him,” Patrick snorted at her gasp of outrage.

“Do you and Shawzy take a Lyft every day then?” Jonny inquired politely.

“No,” Patrick smiled sheepishly. “My manny has a car. Sadly, I do not. We just moved here about three months ago and public transit works well enough. I work from home so I have some flexibility and it’s usually not a problem. But the day camp is so far away that it would take forever on transit so we’re splurging for the ride.”

“Like movie stars,” Mo offered knowingly.

“Or famous hockey players,” Patrick winked at Jonny. Jonny liked that a lot more than he should have.

“We’re famous movie star hockey players and Temi is our chauffenetter.” Mo smiled up at Artemi who grinned back.

“Chauffeur,” Artemi corrected and winked in the review mirror. “And bodyguard. For to fight off paparazzi.” Mo got a kick out of that and cackled heartily.

Jonny heard a series of honking out the window and turned to a bicyclist flipping off a cab driver before turning back to look down at Mo. He noticed she was staring at his hands on the seat between them. He wiggled his fingers and waved at her, causing her to giggle.

“You have big hands,” she said suddenly, holding her tiny white hand next to his larger one. “And your fingers are so long!”

“Well I’m a lot bigger than you so that would make sense, eh?” Jonny offered.

“Aunt Jessica says that Daddy likes your hands cuz your fingers are long enough to....”

Patrick clapped a hand over her mouth.

“In no universe do I want to know how that sentence ends,” he sighed heavily, “Oh hey look, we’re home!”

Jonny couldn’t help the sudden sense of disappointment and loss as he watched Patrick and Mo gather up their belongings. Patrick exited first and smiled indulgently as Mo stood up on the backseat to reach over and give Artemi a high-five.

“Thanks for doing the good driving job, Temi!” Mo said.

“Thanks for to be good riding,” Artemi answered proudly.

Mo fell back onto the seat and started to slide out, stopping to turn back to look at Jonny.

“Thanks for sharing our car ride, Jonny Toews,” Mo put her hand up for a high-five and Jonny gave it a light slap.

“It was my absolute honor, Miss Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane,” he said with mock solemnity and she giggled and rolled her eyes.

“Only when I’m in trouble,” she called over her shoulder as she scooted out of the car and trotted up toward the front door of the brownstone.

“Which is all the time!” Patrick called after her. “Hey man,” Patrick poked his head back into the car, blue eyes earnest and meeting Jonny’s. “Thanks for being so cool. Sorry about the mix-up. I hope we didn’t bother you too much.”

“Seriously,” Jonny offered back, “you have an awesome kid. I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed a ride more.”

He liked the way that Patrick blushed a little and waved before he shut the door.

Jonny and Artemi watched until father and daughter disappeared into the house.

“Artemi,” Jonny called from the back seat after a long quiet moment.

“Is me,” Artemi answered cheekily.

“Will you be driving them from camp every day?” Jonny asked.

“Is not work that way,” Artemi met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Is app. Random. No way to know who drive who.”

Jonny pulled out his wallet.

“No way at all?” his voice was calm even though he felt sketchy as hell.

Artemi watched him thoughtfully in the rearview mirror for a long moment as if weighing his worthiness. A grin widened slowly across his face.

“Arrangements can be the made.”

**********  
Jonny scowled when Artemi winked as he threw Jonny’s bag into the trunk.

“Aiming for subtlety here, bud,” Jonny muttered under his breath. Artemi just threw his head back and laughed, clapping Jonny on the shoulder before slamming the trunk down and heading toward the driver’s seat.

Temi was wearing another black track suit, flashy watch, and gold chain. Jonny was growing increasingly certain the Lyft job was a cover for Russian mafia or some other nefarious activity. But the kid had the face of an angel and had been on board with arranging another “accidental “encounter with Patrick and Mo so Jonny wasn’t going to judge too harshly. It would be a little hypocritical.

Jonny threw open the back door and put all of his limited acting skills to use with a giant gasp when he saw Mo staring at him with delighted eyes and Patrick staring with a confused smile.

“What on earth?” Jonny said. Mo covered her face with her hands and giggled. Today’s ensemble was a pink beret, the same zebra parka, leopard print leggings and polka dot blue rain boots.

“Did you forgetted again, Jonny Toews?” She laughed and leaned back against her dad.

“Forgot,” Jonny corrected automatically as he climbed in and settled into the seat. “And it looks like I did.”

“I should buy a lottery ticket,” Patrick’s lip twitched, “because I am fairly sure I have never had the same Lyft driver twice and I know I’ve never shared a ride with the same person twice.”

Jonny busied himself with unwrapping his scarf and hoping to hide the guilty flush to his cheeks.

“I see your name pop up,” Artemi offered smoothly from the front seat. “I close so I grab nice family. Then I see Jon name and say all make nice friendship time yesterday. No big deal. Is happens. Maybe it fate.”

“Maybe!” Mo gasped. “Maybe it’s like Disney and Temi is our furriest grandmother!”

“Fairy godmother,” Patrick’s snorted.

“Temi to be greatest fairy grandmother,” Artemi nodded seriously from the front seat.

“Anywayyyy,” Jonny drawled out the word. “That is quite an outfit Miss Molly. I like your hat.” She beamed up at him, re-adjusting her hat.

“Thank you. Oh, and look,” She unzipped her parka to reveal a red home Hawks jersey with a “C” clearly visible on the chest.

“Is that mine?” Jonny winked at Patrick who flushed pink.

“Yep,” she said proudly. “Cuz it’s game day. I only get to wear the real jersey on the game days.”

“Well,” Jonny leaned back. “I guess that means I have to do a good job tonight since you went to the trouble of wearing my jersey and everything. Will you and Dad be watching the game?”

“Sure will!” She said proudly. Patrick coughed.

“She means we will start watching the game and she will be asleep by the second period,” Patrick said dryly. “It’s a school night, Mo. First period rules apply.”

“Daaaad,” she huffed and crossed her arms. “Firstly, it’s the camp not the school. And second, Jonny Toews is my friend now. I have to cheereded him on. I just hafta.”

Jonny felt slightly uncomfortable at being the center of the stare down between man and daughter.

“Uh,” Jonny started tentatively as he watched Kane and mini-Kane locked in a determined glare battle. After a long moment, Mo capitulated and sighed.

“Fine,” She grumped. “Sorry I argumented, Daddy.”

Patrick reached out with a fond smile and tugged a curl.

“Argued,” he corrected. “And it’s ok. I know you’re disappointed. But we will just cheer him on so much in the first period that he won’t even need us for the second and third.” Patrick looked up, eyes twinkling as he smiled at Jonny. “Does that seem like a good compromise, Jonny Toews?”

“The best compromise,” Jonny forced himself to break eye contact and calm the little skip in his heart. He smiled down at Mo, putting his fist out for her to bump.

“I have watch second and third,” Temi piped up from the front seat. “I cheer on. Don’t for to suck.”

Jonny wasn’t sure what his face did at Temi’s input but Patrick and Mo both started to laugh. And it was so delightful that Jonny was suddenly struck with the urge to do whatever he could to make that happen again.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Jonny faked grumpiness.

“Oh, Jonny Toews,” Mo reached over and grabbed his hand in her tiny warm ones, smiling up, cheeks flushed from laughing. “We just want you to do the bestest job you can.”

Her little face was so earnest that Jonny could only smile back.

“Actually,” Patrick smirked. “We want him to increase his face off percentage, plant himself in front of the net for some greasy goals, try top shelf instead of five hole every once in a while, and win those board battles. I mean, if we’re being honest.”

Jonny met his eyes. If Jonny didn’t know better, he would have thought Patrick was flirting. And if he didn’t know better, he would have thought he was enjoying being flirted with.

“Daaaaad,” Mo rolled her eyes and beckoned for Jonny to lean down. “He’s just teasering you. Don’t worry. I’ll tell gramma and she will have some words.”

“Teasing,” Patrick sighed. “And what have I said about snitches?”

“They end up in stitches,” she grinned.

Jonny was about to be horrified until Patrick reached over and started tickling her.

“That’s right,” he said as he grabbed into her belly and made her squeal. “Stitches ... from laughing.”

“Help,” Mo squealed and squirmed with laughter. “Help me, Jonny Toews!”

“Oh no,” Jonny put his hands up. “That’s what we call writing checks that your butt can’t cash. I’m not getting involved.”

Patrick shot him a giant grin over her head before letting up and letting a panting Mo slump against Jonny.

“You win, you win,” she said weakly and Patrick shot his arms up victoriously.

“I am the winner forever!” He crowed.

Mo looked up at Jonny and rolled her eyes, causing him to bite back a laugh. She was such a sassy little critter. She hauled herself back up to sitting, her little arm still pressed along Jonny’s side.

“So,” Jonny settled back into the seat. “What did you do at camp today Miss Molly?”

“It was so fun,” her eyes grew wide. “We planteded the seeds and then gave them water and now they are ‘posed to grow!”

“Planted. And what?” Jonny didn’t even have to fake his excitement. The whole world knew his love for gardening, nutrition and such. “That’s amazing. What kind of seeds?”

“The fala... the fafala ... the ...” she huffed out a frustrated sigh and looked at her dad. “What was it again?”

“Alfalfa,” he smiled fondly.

“Yeah,” she turned back to Jonny. “That. When it grows we can feed it to bunnies or other aminals.”

“Animals,” Patrick corrected. Mo screwed up her face.

“Yeah aminals,” she repeated.

“That’s really cool,” Jonny smiled. “Will you plant other seeds at camp?”

“Probably not,” Patrick replied. “Camp is over at the end of next week. But we are going to research maybe growing a window box of herbs or something, right, Mo?” She nodded excitedly.

“Oh man, there are tons of options,” Jonny started to rattle on about a few ideas, passionate to his captive audience.

Mo stared up at him with big eyes, entranced as he spoke. Patrick listened in with a fond smile until Jonny paused for a breath.

“Uh, sorry,” Jonny felt his face flush and rubbed at the back of his neck. “It’s just a passion of mine.”

“Nah, man,” Patrick shook his head, “it’s really cool that you’re into it. I actually work for a subcontractor to the Environmental Protection Agency and part of what I do is data analysis after environmental disasters. So, you’re kind of preaching to the choir.”

“Wow,” Jonny swallowed and his admiration for Patrick increased even more. “That’s, that’s like seriously one of the coolest things I can imagine. I’m .... what you do is so important, Patrick. Seriously.”

Patrick blushed and ducked his head.

“We should talk about hockey,” Mo interrupted out of nowhere, jolting Jonny into a surprised laugh.

“Rude much?” Patrick raised an eyebrow at her. She just smiled and batted her eyelashes.

“We can talkeded about your work all the time,” she explained. “But we only sometimes get to talkeded to Jonny Toews.”

Jonny looked up to find Patrick staring down at where Mo was pressed against Jonny with an odd expression on his face. He seemed to sense Jonny looking at him and snapped out of it, raising his eyes to meet Jonny’s and smiling sheepishly.

“That’s a good point,” Patrick nodded, eyes flitting away. “I will allow it. But remember in the future it’s not nice to interrupt grownups. Deal?” He put out a fist

“Deal,” she bumped it. She turned to Jonny. “Guess what, Jonny Toews?”

“I don’t think I could guess,” he smiled down at her. “So, hit me with it.”

“I telled Aunt Jess that we meeted Jonny Toews and she said ‘shut the front door!’ Isn’t that silly?” Mo covered her face to giggle.

“It is silly,” Jonny grinned. “What else did she say?”

“Oh, I don’t think we need to rehash what Aunt Jessica ....” Patrick started

“She askeded if daddy thought you were as pretty in the car as on the ice,” she giggled.

Jonny heard Temi bark out a laugh in the front seat. He looked over to find Patrick with his head back against the seat, cheeks flaming as he stared at the ceiling.

“That’s not exactly ...” Patrick gritted out.

“And then she asked if daddy ‘membered to askeded for your phone because it’s been nine thousand years since he goed on the date.”

“Went,” Patrick said weakly, eyes shut now.

“And then she said,” Mo pushed the curls back off her forehead, “that if I wait for daddy to askeded you on a date that we will die cold and alone so I should do it myself.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Patrick moaned.

“I’m telling gramma you said the baby Jesuses name again,” Mo shot over her shoulder. She turned back to Jonny, “So I’m telling you for our date we should go to get the good ‘pasgetti right now for lunch. Want to?”

Jonny had about forty emotions flying through him and he was not prepared to analyze most of them with this adorable tiny child staring expectantly up at him.

“I could eat the ‘pasgetti,” Temi offered from the driver’s seat.

“You don’t even know what the ‘pasgetti is,” Patrick scowled at Temi.

“So, can you come date us, Jonny Toews? Me and Temi and Daddy?”

Jonny looked at her beseeching little face. He looked at Temi’s knowing smirk in the rearview mirror. He looked over where Patrick was currently trying to smother himself with his daughter’s Wonder Woman book bag. And his heart broke. Because there was honestly nothing he would have loved to do more.

“I wish that I could with my whole heart,” Jonny said, making sure that Mo could see his face. “I would love that so much. But I have a game tonight and one of the rules is that I have to go home and get prepared including a long boring snooze.”

“Oh,” Mo thought on his answer for a long moment. “Well that’s no fun at all.”

Her little forehead crinkled into a frown.

“But how about this?” Jonny offered, not sure what he was doing and not really even caring. “I don’t have a game tomorrow. So, what if I take a rain check and tomorrow after camp we go instead?”

“Really?” She gasped.

“Really?” Temi snorted.

“Really?” Patrick asked suspiciously.

“Absolutely,” Jonny nodded, determination on his face. “Temi can pick us all up at our usual places and then we can all go do something fun. I mean,” he looked nervously over where Patrick was staring at him warily. “If that’s okay with your dad.”

“Please!” She scrambled into Patrick’s lap, seatbelt thrown off in one impressive fluid movement. Patrick winced as she dug her bony knees into his thighs to clutch his face. “Can we, Dad? Please? I will eat my brosskeli and everything, I promise.”

“Broccoli,” Patrick methodically folded her back into her spot and buckled her up.

“And you should eat that because it is delicious and healthy,” Jonny offered.

Mo turned slowly and gave him such a judgmental face that he couldn’t help from bursting out laughing.

“Anywayyyyyy,” Mo turned back to Patrick. “Please.”

“You sure, man?” Patrick looked at Jonny, eyes sincere. “I’m positive you have way more exciting and important things to do than eat cheap spaghetti with some random strangers.”

“I honestly can’t think of anything I would rather do more,” Jonny replied honestly. “And you guys aren’t random strangers anymore.”

“Cuz we’re friends, right, Jonny Toews?” Mo grinned up at him.

“Exactly,” Jonny smiled, eyes not leaving Patrick’s.

*********

In hindsight, Jonny should have known better than to throw on cologne while still in the dressing room at MB after practice. He could see Sharpy’s head literally snap up the minute the smell wafted over to his nose.

“Well, well, well,” Sharpy’s voice rang out across the room and Jonny cringed, knowing that his cheeks were flushing and that his ears probably would be now.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself as he shoved the bottle back into his bag and pulled the blue sweater over his head. He was wearing it because it was cold February in Chicago. Not because his mom said the color did wonderful things for his eyes and skin tone.

“An actual sweater and nice cologne and,” Sharpy walked over and ran a hand over Jonny’s hair before earning the slap that Jonny gave him, “I think that’s hair gel. Why Jonathan Toes, you little minx, do you have a date?”

“Yeah,” Jonny replied dryly as he wrapped his scarf around his neck. “I’ll tell your mom you said hello.”

“Oh, Tazer,” Sharpy shook his head back and forth sadly. “That’s not even trying.”

“You’re right,” Jonny amended, “I will tell your mom and your wife you said hello.”

Jonny stepped outside right as Temi pulled up in front of the doors and popped the trunk.

“Hey, Temi,” Jonny nodded as he put his bag in the trunk. Temi frowned and nodded, his face angry.

“Is not good,” Temi offered cryptically and sighed, patting Jonny on the shoulder before crossing back around the car and climbing into the driver’s seat.

Jonny opened the back seat and crawled in, breath catching as he settled in and looked over at Mo and Patrick.

“Hey, Jonny,” Patrick said softly.

Mo was curled up on his lap and his chin was resting over her curls, strong arms wrapped around her little body. She was buried in her zebra parka, hood up and bright yellow scarf wrapped around her chin. Only a tiny portion of her face was visible but what he could see broke Jonny’s heart. Her eyes were clenched tight and tears were streaming down her cheeks as she silently cried.

“What ….” Jonny’s voice cracked.

Patrick smiled sadly and tightened his arms around her, kissing her forehead.

“We had a rough day at camp,” Patrick said in the same quiet tone.

Temi fired off a sentence of Russian delivered in such a hot tone that while Jonny didn’t know what he said, it was clear that he was angry about something.

“What happened?” Jonny asked softly, heart breaking at the fact that Mo couldn’t even stop crying long enough to open her eyes and try to speak to him.

He took in her long pink flowery dress under coat over white tights and white furry boots. She looked like she took time to dress up for today. For their lunch. He swallowed hard.

“Mo had a little bit of an issue with some of the kids at camp today,” his voice cracked and Jonny’s stomach fell as he could see the anguish on Patrick’s face, the pain of a father who had a little girl who was hurting.

“They,” Mo’s voice was shaky and high-pitched from inside her coat, eyes still shut tight. “They said I didn’t … they told me I was ... they tooked my seed and then I told them to stop and they got the paint and ….”

Jonny’s heart shattered as she struggled to talk but couldn’t seem to find the words and collapsed into sobs against her father’s chest again. From the front seat, Temi’s Russian muttering grew even more vicious and angry.

“Shhhh, baby girl, it’s gonna be okay.” Patrick rubbed a hand over her back in soothing circles.

Jonny watched as Patrick stared out the window, blinking repeatedly as if trying not to cry himself.

“Patrick …” Jonny started and stopped, feeling helpless. Patrick looked over and gave Jonny a wobbly sad smile.

“She gets pretty excited sometimes,” Patrick kept his voice low as he continued to rub over her back soothingly. “She picked out her dress and everything today. She, um,” his voice cracked and he took a deep breath. “I guess one of the teacher aides mentioned loudly that she looked very nice today and she told the woman that it was because she was having lunch with Jonny Toews. Apparently one of the kids overheard and they cornered her later and called her a liar and threw her plant on the ground and spilled paint on her dress.” He lifted the bottom of her parka so that Jonny could see the big horrible green splotch across the pretty pink floral fabric. Patrick sighed. “She doesn’t always make friends easily. She is a little quirky and she knows that not everyone understands how wonderful that is. Sometimes the littlest people are capable of the biggest hurts. And sometimes, there’s not much you can do to help explain why that happens.”

Jonny could barely breathe. He felt sick with guilt that he was part of the cause for this. And filled with a fury at other children being so cruel to this magical quirky little creature so bright and full of love.

“They said girls don’t even knowed about hockey and Jonny Toews wouldn’t wanted a friend like me,” her little voice was thready. “They said no one would wanted a weirdo friend like me. And I knowed I’m different but I don’t bothered them so why did they killed my plant?”

Jonny watched as Patrick’s eyes slammed shut and his throat worked repeatedly. Jonny couldn’t imagine what Patrick was going through right now. He didn’t even think about it as he reached out and squeezed the back of Patrick’s neck reassuringly, firmly, feeling the warmth and smoothness of his skin as some of the soft curls brushed Jonny’s hand.

He reached his other hand down and squeezed just above Mo’s boot on her shin and leaned forward.

“Mo,” he said quietly, staring at her face until her eyes open and looked at him, tears still streaming. He reached forward with the hand that was on her shin and wiped some away from her cheek. “I want you to hear me very clearly. Are you listening? It’s really important, okay?”

She stared at him for a long moment and then nodded her head, soft little hiccups still interrupting her breathing.

“First,” Jonny said in his most serious, genuine captain voice, staring into her little blue eyes. “You are not a weirdo. You are a beautiful, creative, lovely little girl and I would not change one single thing about you. Not one. Do you understand? You are so special and so perfect. Jonny Toews does indeed want you as a friend. So, what those kids said is wrong. Okay? Can you hear me?” He stared at her until she gave him a small nod, face still mostly buried in her father’s chest.

Jonny looked up to see Patrick staring down at him, eyes sad and red. Jonny’s other hand was still up on the back of Patrick’s neck, rubbing soothing circles into the warm skin. Jonny gave him a small nod and turned back to Mo.

“Still with me, Mo?” Jonny rubbed his thumb across her cheek where the tears were slowing a little. She nodded as she leaned against her dad’s chest. “You maybe didn’t know this about me but when I was little, my whole life was about hockey. Hockey hockey hockey. And I was serious. All the time. I would get mad at my friends when they didn’t get as serious as I was. Sometimes, my friends and other kids would call me weird and say hurtful things.”

Jonny took a deep breath. He hadn’t thought about this stuff in years.

“One day I came home and was crying and my grandma sat me down and told me something that I never forgot. She said, it’s like bunnies. Some people get in their heads that bunnies are only ever supposed to be brown. They won’t even look at bunnies that are white or bunnies that are spotted or any other bunny than brown. They might even get scared or run off bunnies that are any other color because, to them, bunnies that are normal are brown and any bunny that isn’t brown is just wrong. But when you think about it, that’s kind of sad for them isn’t it? Because what if all they ever know is boring plain brown bunnies that don’t do anything special? What if there’s a really cool black bunny that is able to do flips? Or a really awesome white bunny that knows how to retrieve things if you throw them? If you give every bunny a chance, you might get to meet some pretty cool bunnies. But if you don’t, if you refuse to deal with all the bunnies – even if they might be different than what you think you like – then you might miss out on some pretty special bunnies.” He looked to make sure she was still watching, eyes watery and red but on his face so he continued.

“My grandma told me that I should feel bad for the people like that. Because if you only ever like what’s normal, then you miss out on some really special and amazing things. So, the truth is Mo, I feel sad for those kids in your class. Because when they call you weird and refuse to get to know you, then they are going to miss out on knowing someone who is amazing and magical and wonderful. I don’t like that they hurt your feelings and ruined your pretty dress and plant, but we can get you a new dress, we can plant you a new seed, and we can try to get past their mean words. But as long as they refuse to give you a chance, then they will always miss out. So that’s pretty sad for them.”

Jonny let out a long exhale. He never talked that much. And he sure never talked with kids. He hoped he wasn’t screwing things up here.

Mo watched him for a long time while he sat still, crouched in her space, one arm on Patrick’s neck, the other hand on her cheek. Just when he was convinced he had ruined it, she slowly unfolded and crawled over to wind her arms around Jonny’s neck and bury her face in his shoulder.

“I be nice to every kind of bunny,” she hiccupped. “Every single kind.”

“That’s really good,” Jonny whispered over the lump in his own throat.

Jonny sat back into the seat, closing his eyes as he adjusted to her weight and cradled her like she was the most precious thing he had ever held. And she may have been. He mimicked the rubbing on her back that Patrick had been doing and just let her take comfort, hoping she was able to understand and take to heart what he had said.

Jonny heard sniffling and opened his eyes to turn to look at Patrick. Patrick was rubbing at his eyes with the palms of his hands. Without thinking, Jonny reached out one arm and place a hand on Patrick’s thigh. Patrick took a deep inhale and then rested his head against the seat, turning his head to look at Jonny and Mo. Jonny squeezed lightly once and offered a small smile.

Patrick watched thoughtfully for a long moment before slowly reaching down and covering Jonny’s hand with his own. Even though it was full of hurt and tears, in many ways it felt … like family. And Jonny was hit with such a wave of want that he could barely catch his breath.

The car rolled to a stop and Jonny realized that Temi, no longer muttering angrily in the front seat, had navigated them to Patrick’s home.

“I think,” Patrick’s voice softly broke the intimate silence. “I think Jonny’s advice is probably better than Temi’s on this one.”

“Oh yeah,” Jonny said softly as he continued to rub Mo’s back, staring into Patrick’s eyes. “What was Temi’s advice?”

“I teach her to fight,” Temi said dangerously. “Is easy. One punch. No problem no more.”

“Let’s just keep that as the backup plan,” Jonny offered dryly and Patrick’s grin was small but Jonny would so take it.

“Can we get a raincheck on that lunch?” Patrick asked regrettably, eyes soft and still a bit watery.

“Anytime, of course,” Jonny nodded. “Hey, Mo. Can you promise me something?” He felt her nod against his neck. “I need you to sit up like a big girl so I can see your face.”

She sat up and looked at him, face still sad but no more tears and Jonny would so take that too.

“I know you won’t want to, but can you promise me that you will go to school tomorrow?” Her initial reaction was to shake her head and look at her dad.

“I think Jonny’s right, Mo,” Patrick was standing outside of the car looking in. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t want bullies to think they get to beat you down and make you afraid to go to school. We can talk about it but I think Jonny and grandma and your aunts and I would agree on this one.”

“And Temi agree,” Temi sagely offered from the front seat. He then narrowed his eyes. “I still teach punch.”

“And then I can see you after school and maybe we can get that ‘pasgetti,” Jonny smiled and poked her nose.

For the first time in the whole ride, he got a small smile out of her.

“I will thinked about it,” she said seriously.

She squeezed his neck one more time, reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then crawled off to give a weak high five to Temi before slowly crawling out of the car.

“Patrick,” Jonny called out and Patrick poked his head back in. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Patrick took a deep breath. “It’s just hard sometimes, you know? I feel like I’m floundering with stuff. Days like today make me wish her mom was …. Days like today are hard.”

“You’re amazing,” Jonny offered and then flushed. “I mean it, seriously. You handled that so well. You should know that.”

“You didn’t do so bad yourself there, coach,” Patrick offered a small shy smile and walked up to the door of the house.

Once father and daughter were in the house, Temi looked at Jonny in the rearview mirror.

“You to handle or I?” Temi said darkly.

Jonny didn’t want to imagine what Temi was planning to do to “handle” a situation with bullying preschoolers but Jonny was already tapping away on his phone.

“Temi, my friend,” Jonny smile was sharp, “I am way ahead of you on this. Clear your schedule tomorrow. We’ve got plans.”

*************

 

“I don’t know, Toe-ez,” Sharpy took a sip of his Starbucks, “Seems like an awful lot of work for a girl.”

His tone was amused as he observed the chaos and pageantry around them. Jonny flushed a little at the excess.

He had called in a few favors and currently Mo’s day camp looked like the Chicago Blackhawks store threw up everywhere. Tommy Hawk was currently helping the marketing team hang red and black balloons and Kendall Coyne, complete with her gold medal, was helping Jammer and Spencer set up nets for floor hockey while catering set up a table of healthy snacks and low sugar juice. The teaching staff huddled together in the corner and looked on with wide eyed confusion.

“A four-year old girl,” Jonny emphasized with a scowl. “Like you wouldn’t do this much for Maddie or Sadie.”

“I wasn’t talking about the kid,” Sharpy’s smirk was clear in his voice. “I was talking about her mother, who this is obviously all for.”

“You’re wrong. She doesn’t have a mother,” Jonny glared at him. “So, don’t bring that up.”

Jonny very pointedly did not mention her father.

Sharpy’s eyebrows raised and he stared at Jonny thoughtfully for a long moment before turning to look back at the chaos.

“That sucks,” Sharpy admitted as he sipped at his cup.

“Just …..” Jonny sighed. “Look, they’re going to be here soon. For some reason, unfathomable though it is, this little girl thinks you are the best thing to ever happen to hockey. And she’s had a rough week and shit, probably some rough days throughout her life. So, do me a favor and try not to ruin it by letting her see what a bag of suck you actually are, alright?”

Sharpy was quiet for a while. Jonny could feel him staring at his profile.

“Rough week?” Sharpy queried after a moment.

In all fairness, Jonny hadn’t even shared the details about Mo and everything. Yet one call from Jonny, and Sharpy had agreed to come out. That actually made him a pretty decent friend and Jonny probably owed him better.

Jonny took a moment to fill Sharpy in on the details about the incident at school, carefully avoiding any mention of the rides or Temi and certainly not Patrick. Sharpy’s face hardened at the worst of the details, a father to two young girls striking up empathy and hitting him personally.

“Make sure you point out which little bastard is the ring leader, alright?” Sharpy’s voice was hard.

“They’re all under five, Sharpy,” Jonny sighed. “They probably have no idea what they’re doing or saying and how much that can hurt a little girl’s feelings.”

“Well it’s our job to help them figure that shit out,” Sharpy pointed out, dropping his cup into the trashcan. “Otherwise they grow up to be bullying assholes. Or Marchand. Or any number of Ducks.”

Jonny chuckled softly and nodded, feeling some tension bleed out of his shoulders.

Children started trickling in, eyes wide and pulling at their parents’ hands as they started to see the festivities. The teachers did their best to herd the small army but the crowd soon devolved into a flurry of running and laughing and chaos.

“This is fun,” Sharpy’s voice was dry as he yelled above the increasing noise levels, “We should do this all the time.”

Jonny fought the urge to flip him off, what with a room full of parents, teachers, children and now the BHTV film crew. A frazzled Kevin from Marketing smiled in relief as Kendall and Spencer managed to corral most of the children toward the floor hockey setup.

Jonny’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Temi’s text advised that they were pulling up.

He ignored Sharpy, trotting out to the front door. He stopped, eager to meet Mo and Patrick at the car but wanting to appear casual when they got out.

The car pulled up and Temi, noticing Jonny in the glass foyer, flashed him a not-even-remotely subtle thumbs up as he opened the door to let Patrick and Mo out of the car.

Jonny felt his face slide involuntarily into a smile as he watched Mo look up at Patrick, holding his hand as if she were little nervous while Patrick smiled down reassuringly. Mo was wearing simple black leggings and her red sequin boots under her ever-constant zebra parka. Her hat was just a blue knit cap with a cat face on top. Patrick was wearing a dark Cubs ball cap and grey Henley that hugged his lean muscles and peeked through his parka over jeans that hinted at strong thighs. Jonny swallowed hard.

“Ahhhh,” Sharpy’s voice was deadly soft behind him. “For the father then.”

Jonny didn’t respond, he just took a breath and opened the door.

“Well hello, Miss Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane,” Jonny cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled across the parking lot.

Mo’s head snapped up and a giant smile crossed her face. She started to tug at her father’s hand, pulling him along the parking lot.

“Jonny Toews!” Mo called out as she finally dropped her father’s hand and started running on tiny legs in Jonny’s direction. Jonny knelt down on one knee to catch her as she leapt at him, strangling him in a tight hug around his neck. “I never thinked you would be at my camp today!”

“Thought,” Jonny corrected automatically and leaned back, winking up at Patrick who was walking up and shaking his head softly. “And that’s what makes it a good surprise, don’t you think?”

“The bestest surprise,” she nodded excitedly, curls bouncing. “Dad, did you see? It’s our friend Jonny Toews!”

“I did see,” Patrick smiled and tugged her curls before turning his eyes to Jonny’s, the smile and voice softening into something a little different. “Hello, Jonny.”

“Hi, Patrick,” Jonny smiled back dumbly.

“Temi fine,” Temi muttered to himself. “Is no big deal. No one need say hello. Temi just disappear into backyard.”

“Background,” Patrick’s eyes crinkled as he corrected.

“What to be ever,” Temi waved his hand dismissively.

“This is such a goodest surprise, Jonny Toews,” Mo grabbed his cheeks to force his attention back to her.

“Good,” Patrick corrected.

“Best,” Temi piped up at the same time.

“Well,” Jonny stood up and set Mo on the ground, leaning over to look her in the eyes. “Actually, you should hold onto that thought because I have another surprise for you.”

Her eyes grew comically wide.

“More surprises?” she whispered up at him in awe. “What other surprises?”

“Did someone say surprise?” Sharpy peeked his head out of the door behind Jonny, smile wide and teeth gleaming white.

Mo seemed frozen in place, staring up at Sharpy with wide eyes and an open mouth as he stepped out of the door. Jonny couldn’t tell what was happening with her face and he started to get nervous. Maybe this was too much, maybe he shouldn’t have …

“Patrick Sharpy,” she exhaled and Sharpy dropped to a knee, throwing his arms wide and grinning his most beautiful grin. Jonny didn’t even bother to correct her on Sharpy’s real name.

“Is the Captain the only one that gets a hug,” Sharpy asked, “Or can I get in on that action from my biggest fan?”

Mo squealed and ran at Sharpy, barreling into him with enough force that Jonny heard an oof.

Jonny acknowledged that Sharpy could be a raging dick but he also knew that Sharpy was a dad, a pro, and underneath all that assholeness, actually a big old teddy bear with a giant heart.

“This okay?” Jonny asked Patrick quietly. Patrick kept blinking before he turned to look up into Jonny’s face with an unreadable expression.

“Yeah, Jonny,” Patrick said softly. “I can’t … this is ... Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jonny swallowed hard, unable to tear his eyes away from Patrick’s face.

“Dad, dad,” Mo interrupted the moment, dragging Sharpy by the hand toward her dad. “This is my friend, Patrick Sharpy.”

“Hello, Mo’s friend,” Patrick recovered and reached his hand out to shake Sharpy’s.

“Hello, Jonny’s friend,” Sharpy winked and Patrick flushed prettily.

“Patrick Kane,” Patrick recovered quickly. “And this is Artemi, the Lyft driver who has somehow magically and inexplicably become our personal chauffer.”

“Is coincidence,” Temi shrugged and shook Sharpy’s hand. “Is happen.”

“Is not happen to anyone I know,” Sharpy’s eyes were sharp and a knowing grin slowly spread across his face.

Jonny knew that the gig was up.

“Temi, Temi,” Mo reached up and tugged on the hem of his shirt. “We should showed them what you teacheded me!”

“Taught,” Patrick sighed wearily. “And I don’t think ….”

Temi got down on his knees and Mo dropped her book bag to assume a fighter’s stance as Temi put his hands up in the same position. Jonny looked on with horror as she carefully wrapped her thumb around her little fists and starts to jab clumsily at Temi’s face.

“Must to protect face with other hand,” Temi reminded sternly and Mo nodded, little tongue sticking out between her lips as she put her arm up more in front of her face and focused with determination on the task at hand.

“I thought we agreed that it was only the back-up plan,” Jonny croaked in horror.

“Is you agreed. Temi no agreed.” Temi answered sassily, weaving when Mo actually got pretty close to connecting.

“It was the only way to get her in the car,” Patrick looked like he was half-embarrassed and half-proud.

“This is perfection,” Sharpy offered, phone out and obviously filming. “Kick his butt, kiddo.”

Mo grinned and narrowed her eyes, speeding up her jabs.

“You’re not actually helping,” Jonny scowled at Sharpy.

“I’m not actually trying,” Sharpy fired back, still recording.

“Ok, Mo,” Patrick cleared his throat. “I think the teachers are watching and I’m going to be in so much trouble.”

Temi hopped up nimbly, giving Mo a high five for her efforts.

“Is good first try,” Temi said proudly. “We work on.”

“Shall we go inside?” Patrick asked.

The smile left Mo’s face and she paled. She stopped, face nervous and eyes wide as she stared up at her father.

“I don’t wanna,” Mo whispered.

“Mo,” Pat said gently. “We talked about this.”

She bit at her lip nervously and looked like she was fighting back tears.

“Hey,” Jonny knelt down in front of her. “Mo, look at me.”

Mo turned her eyes to his face. He smiled reassuringly.

“I’m scared,” her eyes were huge and her lip started to wobble. Jonny’s heart ached for her.

“Hey, Mo, can I tell you a secret?” Sharpy knelt down in front of her too. “Know who else gets scared a lot? This guy.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Jonny.

“What are you ….” Jonny scowled.

“So maybe you could hold Jonny’s hand and help him not be scared to go inside?” Sharpy continued smoothly.

Jonny snapped his mouth shut, catching on.

“You’re scared too?” Mo’s eyes were big as she looked up at Jonny. Jonny was going to replace Sharpy’s shampoo with cat piss.

Jonny smiled through gritted teeth.

“It would appear so,” he held his hand out for Mo to grab. She reached up and enclosed her tiny hand into his.

“Dad,” Mo turned her face to Patrick. “You should probly hold my other hand so you can be braved too.”

Patrick smiled and reached his out.

“Brave and thanks, kiddo,” he corrected with a smile.

“But what about Temi and Patrick Sharpy?” Mo asked worriedly.

“Maybe they can hold each other’s hands,” Jonny grinned evilly.

“Temi not scared,” Temi sniffed, offended.

“Foiled again, eh, Tazer?” Sharpy’s smile was wide as he held open the door so they could all go inside.

After about an hour of chaos, Sharpy and Jonny relaxed with Patrick along the far wall and out of the way.

“This is fun, we should do this every day,” Patrick shouted sarcastically above the chaos, repeating what Sharpy had said earlier almost word for word. Jonny was beginning to second guess how many Patrick’s needed to be in his life.

“I like this one, Tazer,” Sharpy grinned approvingly at Patrick.

Jonny rolled his eyes. He winced as the noise level reached even higher levels. He turned to see Tommy Hawk and a crew of tiny minions – Mo among them - celebrating having scored a goal against Jammer.

Mo had been nervous until Tommy came over and worked his magic. Jonny would never understand the draw that creepy looking mascot had when it came to small children but when Tommy slung a giggling Mo over his shoulder and dragged her over to play with the others, Jonny vowed to remember to do something nice for the guy.

Jonny’s eyes landed on Temi and he sighed. Subtlety was not that kid’s strong point. Temi had managed to turn on the charm and talk one of the teachers into letting him “help.” His help had become basically stalking the small boy that Mo had pointed out as the ring leader of the bullying. Temi had glued himself to no more than four feet away from the boy at all times, eyes glaring. Each time the young pretty teacher had turned, Temi immediately flashed an angelic smile and eyes. He was going to get them all kicked out at some point.

“Do me a favor,” Jonny nudged Sharpy. “Go over there and keep that idiot from committing some kind of felony, would you?”

“Your Russian puppy is fine,” Sharpy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously before allowing a slow grin oozed across his face. Jonny braced himself. “But if you wanted to be alone with your special friend here, you only had to say so, Jonathan.”

“I have two words for you,” Jonny couldn’t even look at Patrick who was probably as flushed with embarrassment as he was. He glared at Sharpy instead.

“And I have two words for you, Tazer,” Sharpy waggled his eyebrows. “Wanna guess what they are?”

Instead of uttering them, Sharpy merely winked and brought his hands up to make a very crass and very understood hand gesture.

“If my kid starts making that gesture, my mom is going to hunt you down and kick you’re a…butt,” Patrick called out to Sharpy’s back.

There was a long awkward silence as the two of them stood against the wall. Jonny decided to break it with a nervous cough.

“Sorry about Sharpy,” Jonny thumbed in Sharpy’s direction where he was currently flustering the pretty young teacher while trying to corral Temi.

“He’s harmless,” Patrick shrugged. “He’s obviously an asshole but I think he means well.”

“He is.” Jonny agreed. “But he really does. Deep down, once you get past the arrogance, the obnoxiousness, the annoyance, and the enragement that he can inspire, he’s a pretty good guy.”

They were both watching the activity in front of them, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Patrick grin.

“Yeah, well,” Patrick’s eyes tracked Tommy and Mo on the court. “He doesn’t bother me at all. I grew up with three sisters. He wouldn’t survive one day.”

“I kind of thought they would be here today,” Jonny offered, relaxing back against the wall with his arms crossed loosely over his chest. “I figured that if you dishonor one Kane, you face them all.”

Patrick burst out laughing, dimples flashing and eyes dancing.

“You’re a fast learner and that is not far from the truth,” he gave Jonny a quick glance before turning out to look at the kids again. “But sadly, they live in Buffalo with my mom.”

“Oh,” Jonny blinked. “From the way Mo talked, I assumed they lived here locally. They seem very …. Involved.”

“That’s a super nice way of saying nosy as fuck,” Patrick’s tone was wry. “We lived with them in Buffalo before moving out here so she still calls them every day.” Jonny noticed his face shift into something slightly sad. “After Mo’s mother died, I was in no way equipped to raise a child on my own. I lived with my parents and my sisters were all still in school so we were one giant family. It takes a village to raise a Mo, I guess.”

“Must have made it extra tough to move,” Jonny offered delicately, growing ever more impressed with Patrick in each layer of new knowledge and insight. Patrick shrugged.

“Yeah, we miss them a lot,” Patrick looked down and scuffed a foot back and forth on the floor. “But we talk every day so it’s working … for now anyway. I owe them the world for all they’ve done to help me but it was time for Mo and me to venture out and see if we could run this show on our own. I got the job offer here and the rest is history. I just …” Patrick stopped and bit his lip.

“What?” Jonny nudged his shoulder gently.

“It’s just a lot harder sometimes that I thought it would be, I guess,” Patrick sighed. “Just when things like yesterday happened, I know it’s sexist and stupid, but it seems like in those times, Mo needs a mother or an aunt to help navigate. I feel like I’m stumbling around and probably fucking things up every single day. I wonder if I made a huge mistake coming here and taking her away from the strong females that she needs.”

Jonny thought about it for a moment, stunned that Patrick could honestly not see how amazing he was at the parenting thing. But he could tell that this was a serious and vulnerable area for Patrick and wanted to treat that respectfully.

“I’m not a father, obviously,” Jonny said carefully. “But I bet every good parent feels like they are blowing it every single day. And as far as needing a mother or aunt or female around, it sounds like you have it figured out. Mo clearly still has a relationship with them and can talk to them whenever she needs. But Patrick,” Jonny turned and leaned against the wall so that he could look down at Patrick’s profile. “Mo doesn’t need you to be a female when she’s hurting, she just needs you. And she has you. She knows that. And that kid over there,” Jonny thumbed her direction, “is absolutely amazing. So, give yourself a break and a shit ton more credit. I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, what you’ve sacrificed. But I can tell you that whatever it was, you did it right and it was worth it.”

“I’m not looking for pity,” Patrick’s jaw was firm.

“Well I’m not sure how you got that out of what I said,” Jonny’s brow furrowed. “Because that’s the last thing you’ll ever get from me. Do you get it 100% right all of the time as a parent? Who knows – probably not because no one does. But that kid knows she is the center of your world and she knows that she is loved by a hell of a lot of people. And that is what counts. So, all you get from me is solid amazement and awe. Because no way in hell could I have ever done what you do every day alone. So, if people pity you then they’re fucking stupid and I pity them.”

Jonny was surprised the passion in his own voice. He wasn’t necessarily known for being outwardly emotional and all that of the ice. But he found that he meant it, every single word. He found himself fiercely protective of Patrick and wasn’t stupid enough to pretend he didn’t know why.

“Guess I know why they gave you the C,” Patrick’s cheeks were a little pink from embarrassment at Jonny’s gushing. But it only added to his charm. And Jonny watched the way a smile fought the corners of his perfect lips, lips that made Jonny think of things he didn’t think about on a regular basis.

“I’ll have you know,” Jonny faked an arrogant air in deflection of what he was feeling. “that they gave me the C because of my leadership ability, my excellence on the ice, and overall awesomeness.”

“And humility?” Patrick turned to face him, looking up with dimples and blue eyes and Jonny was so fucked.

“And that too,” Jonny offered a little breathlessly, still aiming for funny and missing by a mile. Patrick blinked and the grin softened to something more intimate and between them.

“Get a room, losers,” Sharpy interrupted, causing them both to flinch. Jonny momentarily wondered if Patrick would write to him when he went to prison for murdering his assistant captain.

“I’m going to tell Maddie and Sadie that you played with Tommy Hawk all day today and didn’t invite them,” Jonny gritted out threateningly. Sharpy shrugged unrepentantly.

“Is that anyway to talk a friend that just wanted to point out that your chauffer is currently teaching the entire preschool class how to box?” He thumbed over his shoulder.

Jonny and Patrick’s eyes flew over to where Temi on his knees in the middle of all the children, demonstrating how to make a fist. The pretty little teacher was right there next to him doing the same thing.

Jonny could only hope, as he hurried across the court to break up the impromptu teaching session, that Mo wasn’t banned from the rest of the camp.

**********

“I think it’s entirely possible,” Jonny offered from his perch on the picnic table next to Patrick, wiping the remnants of his gluten-free spaghetti lunch from his mouth and wadding up the napkin. “That the three of them together is probably something we will both regret.”

He nodded to where Mo was currently engaged in what appeared to be a spitting contest off the side of the pier with Sharpy and Temi. She wasn’t winning, but she was surprisingly holding her own.

“They definitely have the potential to be a dangerous world power,” Patrick nodded and slowly licked sauce from his fingers. Jonny was more than a little mesmerized. “Wanna lay odds which one of them falls in the lake first?”

The scene was idyllic, one of Chicago’s rare warm pre-spring days full of blue sky and sun dancing off the waves of Lake Michigan. Jonny should be more worried about potential harm if one of the trio actually did fall in, but Sharpy had kept them pretty close to the beach side of the pier and Temi was actively keeping himself between Mo and the water.

“I’d say even money between the two adults,” Jonny said dryly. “Mo is smart enough not to fall in.”

“Shit, she’ll probably end up pushing one of them in,” Patrick flashed a grin. “She’s seen her aunts do it to me about a million times on the beach at Lake Erie.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m terrified of your sisters,” Jonny said honestly and Patrick cackled.

“You should be,” Patrick faked narrowing his eyes before the grin fought its way through. He leaned back on his arms and turned his face to the sky, letting the warmth glow over him. Jonny let his eyes travel up his throat and across his face. “I’m kidding. They’re actually great.”

Jonny turned his head and watched as Sharpy and Temi crouched down in the sand, having left the pier. Mo was drawing a giant circle around them in the sand with a stick, running and giggling while they took turns trying to shove each other out of the circle. Maybe it was the day, maybe it was the quiet, maybe it was just time but Jonny took a breath and asked a question he had held.

“You don’t have to answer, but I was,” Jonny said gently. “I was curious about her mom.”

“I wondered when you would ask,” Patrick stared out over the water, pose still relaxed. “People usually ask right away.”

“It’s not any of my business and it seemed pushy of me,” Jonny said honestly.

“No, it’s okay,” Patrick smiled sadly. “It’s good. I need to remember to talk about her more, to help her actually exist to Mo. I used to be afraid to even talk about it, afraid it would hurt Mo to think about her mother. But I learned that Mo can’t really miss something she never knew, you know? She can miss the idea and wonder but she never really had any time to know her mom enough to miss her.”

“What was her name?” Jonny asked quietly.

“Amelia,” Patrick answered, “Ellie. Hence Mo’s middle name.”

“Were you,” Jonny swallowed, hoping he didn’t sound like a moron. “Were you guys going to get married?”

“Ellie and I?” Patrick seemed surprised. “No that wasn’t …. We weren’t … it’s kind of complicated.”

“I’ll try to keep up,” Jonny said wryly, causing Patrick to let out a snort.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.” Patrick was thoughtful for a moment. “Ellie was actually one of my best friends growing up. The lone girl in a pack of boys from the neighborhood. She could climb trees, fight, and play street hockey better than most of us. She was as much a brother as a sister to me and I looked at her no differently that I do my sisters.”

“That doesn’t sound like a whirlwind romance,” Jonny offered hesitantly and Patrick smiled.

“God, no,” he huffed a laugh. “Ellie would have kicked me in the nuts for even suggesting such a thing. That was never the deal with us. I loved her as much as I have ever loved anyone but I was never in love with her. And she never was with me.”

“And yet,” Jonny nodded toward the beach where Temi and Sharpy and Mo were currently building a lopsided castle in the sand. “I’m thinking it wasn’t a stork that dropped Miss Molly Donna Patricia Amelia Kane.”

“If it had been,” Patrick grinned, “I would have punted that bird into another dimension or cooked it for dinner.” His tone grew somber. “No, Mo came to be through, uh, natural activities.”

Jonny didn’t say anything, letting his silence encourage Patrick to continue.

“So the night before we graduated from college,” Patrick sighed, sitting up to rest his elbows on his knees as he stared out over the water, “Ellie came over and we sat around drinking and playing NHL10. The more drunk we got, the more we talked. She admitted to me that she was a virgin, which I knew because I would have kicked the ass of any dude that tried to put a hand on her. And when I told her that, she laughed hysterically until she cried. And it was real crying. And when she broke down, she admitted that she liked girls and that she was afraid she would be alone forever.”

“That sucks,” Jonny felt sick, sad for a young girl that felt like she had to hide.

“Yeah, well,” Patrick blinked rapidly, tensing up a bit. Jonny frowned in confusion. “She wasn’t the only one who ended up crying and sharing a secret.”

Oh. Ohhhhhhh.

“Sucks for both of you,” Jonny said gently. He waited a long time, watching Patrick war a bit with himself until the tension eased out of his shoulders a bit.

“Yeah,” Patrick shrugged. “Our friends and family are awesome but Buffalo is still a bit antiquated in a lot of ways. We were both raised Catholic, our friends dropped words like ‘fag’ and ‘cocksucker’ on the reg. They probably never meant it that way but when you’re a kid, you don’t know right?”

“I’m sorry that you felt like you were alone,” Jonny offered quietly. Patrick shrugged.

“I mean, we both dated people and made out and all that,” Patrick blinked at the sun, eyes still glued to the waves. “We just both knew that it wasn’t going to end up in the sack or anything with them. It just would have been nice if we both would have told each other much earlier. Maybe we wouldn’t have felt so tied up in our own drama.”

“So then, how …” Jonny started then stopped.

“How Mo?” Patrick finished with a smile. “It’s so stupid when you think about it really. We were there, both drunk and weepy and tied up in our mutual sadness until one of us, probably me, said that maybe we were wrong. Maybe we weren’t gay. What if it was all in our heads? We drank a bit more and decided to …..” Patrick pinked up a bit. “Er … Mo.”

“Mo,” Jonny smiled, understanding.

“It was a one-time awkward and hilarious thing. We laughed after and then woke up hungover and puking and vowing never to try that again. Ellie started her internship at a local art gallery. She was this amazing artist and super creative and flashy, it was her dream job.” Patrick let his eyes watch Mo and the guys work on their sand castle. “And I started my internship with the City of Buffalo planning department. And then Ellie started getting sick every day, like puking her guts up and ….”

“Wow,” Jonny exhaled. “I bet that was a punch to the gut.”

Patrick barked out a laugh.

“To say the least,” he chuckled and then it trickled off and his face saddened. “Neither one of us was ready to be a parent. No way in hell. We even went to an abortion clinic. I’m not proud of it, but at the time, it seemed like the right thing. Although, deep down, I really didn’t want to do it. But I couldn’t sentence Ellie to a life of raising a child. And what was I going to do, raise one myself? But then we got there and Ellie just couldn’t. And I was so glad she didn’t. We decided we would do whatever we had to bring the baby into the world and then we would figure out if we put it up for adoption or something.”

Patrick seemed lost in memories so Jonny didn’t interrupt.

“Our families weren’t happy, obviously,” Patrick continued, picking at a thread on his jeans. “But they supported our decision to have her. When the time came, we went to the hospital. Ellie was a warrior, all that pain and yet she just hung in there through labor, damn near breaking my hand with every contraction. Until ….” Patrick glanced over at Mo with a wobbly smile. “Until out comes this ugly goo-covered screaming ball of mess. And they put her on Ellie’s chest and Ellie looked up at me with this amazing smile, maybe the biggest I had ever seen her make, and said ‘God, Patty, she’s as ugly as you are – she’s so perfect.’ And then I knew that there was no way Ellie was going to give her up for adoption. And then … man … they put the ugly screaming terror in my arms and I knew I would never let her go.”

Jonny smiled at the wonder that was in Patrick’s voice at his memory, at Mo’s entry to the world.

“But then,” Patrick’s face fell. “I turned to Ellie and asked her what we were going to name her and Ellie started to make this weird noise and the machines started beeping like crazy and then she started shaking. Nurses shoved me and Mo into another room and closed the door. I just sat there holding her and it was like time stopped for us, just the two of us in a bubble while nurses and doctors rushed in the room and people screamed and were frantic.” He stopped to blink, eyes a little watery. “I knew it wasn’t good. I could tell, you know? So, I just stared down at this tiny face looking up at me with all of the hatred and shock and anger in the world and said ‘We will figure it out. And we will be okay. I promise.’ They told us later that it was a blood clot in Ellie’s heart. That it was super rare but it did happen from time to time and there was nothing anyone could have done, no way we could have known. They said she was gone the minute she started seizing and that she never felt and pain and that her last vision on this earth was of me standing there holding our baby. And then … well, you can figure it out from there.”

“Patrick, I don’t ….” Jonny’s voice was hoarse, eyes blinking rapidly at the threat of tears and feeling completely gutted.

“And so, it was suddenly me and Mo,” Patrick smiled a wobbly smile. “And while I was devastated to have lost one of my best friends, she gave me everything in that little girl. And it would have been so much easier to just ship Mo off to a family that would be able to take care of her and love her but I just couldn’t. She was mine and I was hers. So, with the help of my family we’ve made it work. There is nothing I won’t do, no price I won’t pay, no sacrifice I won’t make to keep that little girl with me and happy. She’s my reason for living.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Jonny whispered. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Patrick turned to look at Jonny, eyes serious. “Not for me. You can be sorry for Ellie because she never had a chance to know Mo. You can be sorry for Mo because she will never know the quirky, amazing woman that was her mother. But there’s nothing to be sorry for where I am. Don’t you see, Jon? I have the amazing and awesome blessing of raising that little girl, of tucking her in at night and drying her tears and annoying her and worrying over her. I’ve won the lottery a million times over with her. And I don’t regret any part of that.”

Jonny sat on hands that clenched tightly to the table beneath them so that he didn’t do something crazy like reach over and pull Patrick into his arms.

“It’s just ….” Patrick sighed. “She deserves so much more than what I’m giving you know? I mean I am doing everything I can and her needs are met and I’m not trying to be pitiful here or anything but…. I just wonder sometimes if I made a mistake taking her away from her aunts and grandmother. Kind of foreign being a dude trying to raise a little girl alone. I’m,” he looked up and gave a wry smile. “I’m kind of floundering sometimes.”

Jonny was about to launch into the nine hundred ways Patrick was selling himself short when he felt a plop of mud hit his cheek.

“You guys are gross with your mooning over each other,” Sharpy grabbed a napkin and wiped the mud off his hands while Temi came trotting up with Mo piggy-backed and peeking over his shoulder.

“You really are a tool, aren’t you?” Patrick faked scratching at his nose with his middle finger. Sharpy merely waggled his eyebrows.

“Awwwww,” Sharpy faked a pout, “And here I had already promised Mo that you all could come over this weekend and meet the fam and have a cookout.”

“Jonny Toews,” Mo interrupted and grinned over Temi’s shoulder, hair a tangled mess from the breeze near the water. “This is my pony, Temi.”

“Is not pony,” Temi corrected. “Is magnificent steed. Like war horse.”

“More like war horse’s ass,” Sharpy drawled and earned a glare from Temi and a gasp from Mo.

“Oooohhhh,” she tsked. “That’s five dollars for the cussing jar, Patrick Sharpy.” The incredulous look on Sharpy’s face made Jonny laugh.

“What’s it like to meet the person that will defeat your evil ways?” Jonny cackled delightedly.

“She won’t defeat me,” Sharpy sniffed arrogantly and pushed his sunglasses onto his face. “She and I are going to join forces and defeat the rest of you. Right, Littlest Kane?” He put out a fist to bump.

“Right, Biggerest Sharpy,” she nodded solemnly.

 

********

“I getted to see Patrick Sharpy’s house today, Temi!” Mo ran up to where Temi had opened the backdoor to the car with a flourish.

“Get. And Temi know this,” Temi gave her a fist bump. “Temi to drive you.”

“Jonny Toews!” Mo’s face was surprised when she noticed him already in the backseat. “We never pickeded you up first!”

“Picked,” Jonny corrected and helped her get the buckle over her zebra parka, green dress, purple tights and red sequin boots. “And Temi was closer to my house than yours so he grabbed me first. Surprise.”

“It is a surprise,” Patrick’s voice was amused as he clambered in after Mo and settled into his seat. “Hi Jonny.” Their eyes connected and Jonny smiled over Mo’s head.

“Hi, Patrick,” he knew he was staring but didn’t really give a shit.

“You guys are grosserest,” Mo chirped from below, earning a cackle from Temi in the front seat.

“I’m beginning to second guess the influence of Patrick Sharp on both of you,” Patrick raised an eyebrow and offered dryly. Jonny heartily concurred.

The drive was long but not unpleasant as the spring sky was bright and warm with just a slight chill of spring left in the air, Mo filling the car ride with her usual chatter and excitement. Her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped into a surprised “o” when they finally stopped at Sharpy’s house.

“Does Patrick Sharpy liveded in a castle?” she whispered in awe.

“Live,” Jonny corrected automatically and rolled his eyes, eliciting a grin from Patrick. “And he’s definitely a drama queen so you could probably call it that.”

Temi opened the backdoor and Mo scrambled out over Patrick’s lap, flying out the door. Jonny cackled as Patrick winced.

“Bony knees, eh?” Jonny gathered up her discarded book bag and winked at Patrick.

“Not so much the bony knees as where they land,” Patrick replied dryly as he climbed out after her. Mo grabbed his hand and started yanking him toward the front gate as Jonny hurried to catch up with them.

“Come on,” Mo grunted and pulled as Patrick purposely slowed his steps.

“I was thinking maybe we should go back and do our laundry first,” Patrick teased. “What do you think, guys?”

“Yeah, I’m not in any hurry to see Sharpy,” Jonny nodded seriously.

“Laundry important,” Temi nodded, catching on to the joke.

Mo gasped and then narrowed her eyes.

“You’re all teasering me,” she huffed and then let an evil little smirk cross her face. “I’m telling gramma on all of you.”

“What happens to snitches again, Patrick?” Jonny asked, sliding forward with fingers waggling as he moved in to tickle her.

“Nooooo!” she squealed and laughed, hand still clasped to Patrick’s. She twisted around swiftly to get behind Patrick’s back, shoving her father between her and Jonny and leaving Jonny’s arms suddenly full of Patrick Kane. The warm hard press of his body against Jonny was distracting to say the least. Patrick was staring up at him with startled eyes so big and so blue that Jonny forgot to breathe for a minute.

“Should I get the hose?” Sharpy’s voice rang out loudly across the front yard.

One of these days, murder was going to be committed.

Jonny let his arms drop and Patrick jerked back suddenly, face flushed.

“Patrick Sharpy!” Mo squealed and dropped Patrick’s hand, running toward the front gate. She stopped suddenly when she saw Sharpy’s daughters running up behind their dad. Jonny’s heart skittered at her trepidation, remembering that her experiences with other children weren’t always positive.

“Hey,” Jonny walked up and dropped a hand on her little shoulder and squeezed until she looked up at him with wide eyes. “Those are Sharpy’s little girls and they are super nice. You guys will have so much fun.”

“Uncle Jonny!” Maddie squealed and ran past her dad, launching herself at Jonny’s legs.

“Uncle Jonny!” Sadie mimicked and hugged her sister’s back.

“Uncle Jonny!” Sharpy teased and dropped to his knees to hug Jonny’s other leg. Jonny barely contained his urge to kick him.

“You’re lucky I like your kids,” Jonny muttered, ruffling Maddie and Sadie’s heads and shoving Sharpy. “Hey girls. Good to see you.”

Sharpy turned on his knee and threw his arms open wide toward where Mo had moved back to press against Patrick’s side, watching the whole interchange and biting her lips.

“Don’t I get a hug?” Sharpy fake pouted at Mo.

“I don’t hug weirdos,” Patrick replied and Jonny barked laughed as Sharpy rolled his eyes.

“Oh, I’m guessing you would like to hug the biggest weirdo I know,” Sharpy and gave a knowing glance to Jonny. “But I was actually asking Mo. Come on over here and give me some.” He winked and worked his Sharpy magic until Mo ran forward and threw her arms around his neck as he stood and hoisted her onto his hip.

“Hi, Patrick Sharpy,” she whispered, still shy.

“Hello Miss Mo,” Sharpy tweaked her nose.

“Uncle Jonny, carry us,” Maddie started to climb Jonny’s thighs. He dropped and scooped her and her sister up, hoisting them on opposite hips.

“Good thing I’m the strongest man standing here,” Jonny grunted.

“Sharpy right,” Temi muttered. “You is big weirdo.” Jonny bit back a retort at the sassy Russian that was basically now his employee.

“Sadie, Maddie,” Jonny squeezed them both. “I want to introduce you to my friends Temi and Patrick. And the awesome little girl that your dad is holding is my special friend, Mo.”

“Hi Mo!” Maddie grinned wide. “I like your coat.” Sadie nodded with a smile and waved.

Jonny was once again reminded that Sharpy’s kids were actually pretty cool despite their father.

“Thank you,” Mo waved a tiny shy wave. “My gramma buyed it for me.”

“Cool. Wanna swing on our swingset?” Maddie scrambled down, causing Jonny to wince as he made sure she didn’t fall. Sadie squirmed to chase her sister.

Mo’s eyes were wide. Maddie’s chill and mention of the swing set were obviously good ways to overcome shyness.

“Can I go swinged with Patrick Sharpy’s daughters?” Mo implored of Patrick.

“Have at it, kiddo,” Patrick nodded and Maddie grabbed Mo’s hand as Sharpy set her down, hauling her toward the backyard with Sadie in tow.

“Your kids are cool, man,” Patrick smiled at Sharpy.

“Like they could have been anything otherwise,” Sharpy sniffed and threw an arm around Patrick’s neck.

“Don’t let him kid you,” Jonny’s tone was dry. “His wife is the cool one.”

“True,” Sharpy winked. “But she chose to tie that awesomeness to my awesome genes and now we have exceptionally awesome children.”

“You is weirdo too,” Temi sighed.

“And you’re welcome to go hang out with my dog and let the grown-ups talk,” Sharpy fired over his shoulder as they worked their way to the kitchen.

“Well as I live and breathe,” Abby looked up where she was working over a massive spread of food on the kitchen island. “It’s Jonathan Toews. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you that I was sure you died or fled back to Manitoba to live in a yurt on Lake Toews.”

“Did I mention that his wife is also a smartass?” Jonny rolled his eyes at Patrick as he leaned down to kiss Abby’s cheek.

“It’s great to see you, Abby,” Jonny smiled. “You look amazing.”

“Hands off, loser,” Sharpy walked up behind her and wrapped arms around her waist. “She’s spoken for.”

“For now anyway,” Abby replied and Jonny barked out a laugh at the look of outrage on Sharpy’s face.

“You definitely married up, Sharpy,” Patrick nodded approvingly. Abby grinned and wiped her hands on a dish cloth, elbowing Sharpy out of the way.

“And you must be Patrick,” she smiled warmly and reached up to give Patrick a hug. “And you have to be Temi,” she turned to do the same with Temi, “and you are both absolutely adorable.” Temi smirked and winked at Sharpy over her shoulder. Sharpy narrowed his eyes and let his finger run along a knife on the counter.

“Ignore him,” Abby said without even turning to see what Sharpy was doing. “I always do.” Jonny gave her an approving fist-bump and Sharpy picked the knife up and pretended to study it.

Abby grabbed a tray of meat and shoved it into her husband’s hands. “Go do some caveman cooking thing and provide for your family and guests. Jonny, you help him. Temi, you stay here and help me.”

Sharpy’s eyes narrowed and Patrick must have had pity because he piped up. “Temi, why don’t you help Jonny and Sharpy and I will stay here and help Abby.”

“Is true,” Temi sighed. “They probably do wrong.” He ignored the equal looks of outrage on Jonny and Sharpy’s faces as he pushed past them and walked onto the deck. A cheer went up from the girls as did a chorus of come push us, Temi!

The afternoon passed quickly and Jonny settled in comfortably, happy to see Patrick and Mo relaxed and at ease around the Sharp family. The evening cooled once the sun went down and the girls brought their play into the living room, Mo gasping in awe at the giant doll house in the corner. Temi happily played on the floor with Shooter, Sharpy’s dog, trying to entice him into a half-hearted game of tag. Sharpy sat in the arm chair with Abby draped across his lap while Patrick and Jonny shared the loveseat, wedged in tightly to the small space.

“It’s a miracle you can fit next to that ass of his, Patrick,” Sharpy taunted. Jonny tried not to be distracted by the warmth all along his side where Patrick’s body pressed into his.

“You are disturbingly obsessed with his ass, man,” Patrick raised an eyebrow and Jonny nodded in vindication.

“You kind of are,” Abby scratched her chin as she looked at her husband thoughtfully and then shrugged. “But then, it kind of is a majestic beast.”

Once again, cheeks heating, Jonny was reminded of the depth of evil lurking in Abigail Sharp.

“Is not that great,” Temi piped up from the floor where he was currently poking at the lazy dog sprawled out next to him. “Patrick’s better.” Sharpy wolf-whistled and Jonny ground his teeth. He didn’t even attempt to look at Patrick’s face.

“Thanks, man … I think?” Patrick huffed out, embarrassed, and Temi smiled brightly and gave him a thumbs up.

The girls chattering in the corner could be heard more clearly in the momentary lull in conversation.

“You make good pony tails, Mo,” Jonny heard Maddie say and glanced over to see her watching Mo do some kind of maneuver with the doll’s hair as Maddie looked on approvingly and Sadie looked on in awe.

“Thanks,” Mo said. “I can teached you.” Both girls nodded their heads and grabbed dolls.

“Did your mommy teach you?” Sadie asked. Jonny’s heart froze and he felt Patrick tense a little next to him.

“Nope,” Mo answered in her same unruffled matter of fact tone. “I don’t have a mommy.”

Jonny thought he heard Abby inhale sharply but his eyes were glued on the girls to see their reaction.

“You …. You don’t?” Maddie’s voice was confused and hushed.

“Nope,” Mo answered simply. “She went to heaven while I was being borned. But I have a daddy and a gramma and three aunts and they teached me.”

The Sharp girls were quiet for a moment, oblivious to the fact that all of the adults were sitting perfectly still.

“They teached you real good,” Maddie said approvingly.

“Do you ever missed your mommy?” Sadie asked in a small voice that went right to Jonny’s heart. He didn’t even think about it as he reached over and squeezed Patrick’s knee reassuringly.

“Kind of,” Mo said, face screwed up in thought. “I never get to see her but I knowed she gets to see me from Heaven. Aunt Erica my mommy loved all the colors and showed me some pictures that she colored with paint. That’s why I dressed in the many colors all the time. I thinked that makes it easier for my mommy to see me from Heaven since she likes colors so much.”

Jonny felt as well as heard the strangled noise from Patrick before Patrick scrambled up with a mumbled “excuse me” and stumbled to the bathroom. Jonny started to get up to follow him but Abby put a hand on his arm. He turned to look at her, saw her eyes were glassy and red as if she was trying to not to cry.

“Give him a minute, Jon,” she said in a hushed tone. Everything in him wanted to go to Patrick, to make sure he was okay. But he trusted that Abby was right. She gave him a sad smile and then got up to walk over to the girls.

“Do you guys have room for one more?” She smiled as she sat down cross-legged next to Mo who smiled up at her.

“Make it to be two,” Temi announced, crawling over to flank Mo’s other side, making her giggle.

“Temi is a goodest dog,” she laughed and patted his head.

“You’re doing such a good job with the doll’s hair,” Abby smiled down at Mo. “Want me to braid yours?” Mo smiled her brightest smile and nodded, climbing into Abby’s lap.

“Aunt Jess says it’s hopeless,” Mo giggled as she handed Abby the brush.

“Mommy is a good braider,” Maddie offered encouragingly. “She braids my hairs all the time.”

“Me too,” piped up Sadie.

“We can take turns,” Abby smiled at her girls. “Let me start with Mo and then Sadie and then Maddie.”

“Then Temi. He will be so pretty!” Maddie proclaimed and the girls all squealed with laughter.

“Temi like to be pretty,” Temi sniffed and grabbed one of the dolls to attempt to braid its hair.

Jonny watched for a moment and then suddenly realized that Sharpy hadn’t made so much as a peep. Which was beyond unusual. He turned to look at Sharpy and saw Sharpy staring quietly at the group by the dollhouse, a solemn look on his face, eyes a little red.

“She’s an amazing kid,” Sharpy said in a low voice after a long moment, eyes still trained intently on the group with his wife and children.

“Yeah,” Jonny replied, throat full of emotion.

“Her dad is pretty amazing too,” Sharpy slowly drew his eyes to Jonny and locked in on him.

“Yeah,” Jonny could only nod, voice too tight to elaborate. He could feel Sharpy searching is face for a long moment.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Sharpy asked quietly. Jonny swallowed hard. That was a much bigger question than the words indicated and they both knew it.

“I’m …” Jonny said helplessly.

“Jon,” Sharpy’s eyes were intense. “This isn’t a deal where you get to fuck around. That dude is trying to be a single dad to a wonderful little girl and do it all alone. He’s got a lot of things he has to figure out and he doesn’t need you to play part-time anything here.”

“What the hell…” Jonny snapped, confused at Sharpy’s sudden accusations. “I’m not ‘playing’ anything. I just want to help him, both of them.”

“Why?” Sharpy asked quietly, eyes boring into Jonny’s.

“What do you mean ‘why’? Because I ….. because he ….because they ….”Jonny stopped, clamming up.

“I think,” Sharpy said quietly. “That you need to think long and hard about the answer. Because Patrick is struggling to figure some things out and you need to make sure he has all the information before he makes any decisions.”

“What are you talking about?” Jonny demanded, mouth suddenly going dry. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that Sharpy and Patrick had forged a friendship in the short time they had known each other. But the idea that Patrick was sharing secrets and worries with Sharpy but not Jonny … that hurt. Kind of a lot.

“Have you told him how you feel?” Sharpy eyes were sharp and focused.

“How I feel about what?” Jonny stopped. He knew what Sharpy was getting at. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to share that with Sharpy before spring it at Patrick. And he really wasn’t sure he was ready to share it with Patrick. He didn’t want to risk ruining what they had. It was … complicated.

“Really?” Sharpy raised an eyebrow. “How many people pay for a private driver for someone they just met?” Sharpy’s eyes were laser focused.

“Look,” Jonny was defensive, this was spiraling out of control. “I don’t know what he said but …”

“No,” Sharpy’s headshake was firm. “We aren’t in middle school. I’m not some kind of go between. And I’ve known you a long time, Tazer. I know that you’ll hide behind being responsible until the planets collide. I know that you will talk yourself out of things and I’m starting to realize that Patrick is exactly the same way. If you’re in, be in. If you’re not, then don’t send confusing messages.”

“What messages?” Jonny’s frustration caused his voice to rise.

“Guys,” Abby’s voice interrupted, causing them both to flinch and look at her. Jonny swallowed as he noticed the wide eyes on the girls and the narrowed eyes on Temi.

“Did everything be okay, Jonny?” Mo’s voice sounded worried. “Where did my dad goed?”

“Went. He just went to the restroom for a minute,” Jonny forced a smile. “Everything is good.” He forced himself to remain calm and reassuring until she slowly turned back to her dolls.

Sharpy sighed, fight leaving him. He stood up after a moment and Jonny started as well until Sharpy put a hand out.

“Just let me, ok?” Sharpy’s voice was low, serious. “Dad-to-dad on this one.”

Jonny collapsed back into the couch feeling completely worthless.

*******  
The ride back to Patrick’s house was quiet as Temi wound his way through the Chicago streets. Mo and the girls had eventually succumbed to exhaustion, falling asleep in a tangled pile in front of a Disney movie on the television. She hadn’t even blinked as Jonny and Abby intricately worked her out of the pile and she was completely out of it as she slept in between Jonny and Patrick in the backseat, head pillowed on Jonny’s thigh.

Jonny turned to watch Patrick, fighting back a sigh against the helplessness he felt. Patrick had eventually returned to the living room, Sharpy guiding him with a strong hand on the back of his neck. Patrick avoided Jonny’s eyes and shuttered in on himself. Sharpy had given Jonny a warning look and Jonny had left it at that, not trying to push but confused and desperately wishing he knew what to do or say.

Temi pulled the car into the spot in front of Patrick’s place and got out to open Jonny’s door. Jonny gathered the sleeping Mo into his arms while Patrick gathered their belongings. Jonny stepped out onto the sidewalk, tightening his grip and gently shushing Mo as she started to snuffle and squirm a little.

“I to wait in car. Take time,” Temi said in a low voice, reaching out to gently ruffle Mo’s curls before shutting the car door behind him. Jonny nodded and followed a silent Patrick up to the door, jostling Mo into a slightly more comfortable position as he delicately climbed the stairs, determined not to trip.

Patrick set down the backpack and bowls of leftovers Abby had forced on him under the dim porchlight. He dug his keys out of his pocket and inserted them into the lock, nudging the beautiful old oak door open and reaching in to flip on a light.

It wasn’t lost on Jonny that this was his first time entering Patrick’s apartment.

“Here,” Patrick stopped suddenly and turned, reaching out his arms. “I’ll take her.” He still refused to meet Jonny’s eyes. Jonny bit down the frustration that threatened to erupt.

“I’ve got her,” Jonny whispered so as not to wake her. “Might as well let me carry her in and put her in bed or on the couch or whatever.” Jonny stared as Patrick chewed on his lip for a moment, clearly at war with himself.

“Ok,” he said quietly after a long moment, pushing the door open further. “You can just set her on the couch there,” he pointed to the dimly lit living room with a long dark sectional along the wall.

“Or you can tell me where her room is so you don’t have to wake her up more than necessary,” Jonny offered.

Patrick closed his eyes and sighed. Jonny wasn’t sure what it was that he seemed to be battling himself about but it was sort of getting on Jonny’s nerves. He was just trying to help.

“Patrick…” he started in a low, tight voice.

“This way,” Patrick started into the first door off the main room, reaching over to turn on the low desk light. It was clearly Mo’s room with toys on the floor, an elaborate princess bed with pink and silver bedding and walls decorated with hockey posters complete Sharpy and Jonny’s faces staring down from above her bed. It was a complete mismatch of sports memorabilia and princesses. And it couldn’t have been a better fit to her personality.

“The bed is great,” Jonny offered, slowly leaning down and letting Mo settle into her bedding. She starfished out, dead to the world.

“Yeah,” Patrick huffed a soft laugh as he reached down to take off her boots. “Her aunts forced the issue. They wanted all frilly and pink. She wanted all black and red. It was a war like no other. In the end they compromised – she allowed the bed and they allowed the hockey posters.”

Jonny stepped back and turned to look at a display of family pictures on the wall as Patrick worked around Mo, deftly slipping her out of her clothes and into pajamas with practiced efficiency. Jonny turned back when he heard her mumbling.

“Brush teeth,” she murmured, eyes still closed, curls askew on her pillow.

“You can brush them extra good tomorrow,” Patrick smiled softly and kissed her forehead, staring down at her with such obvious love that Jonny almost felt like he was trespassing in this private moment between father and child. He watched as Patrick’s face shifted, the smile slowly fading as a sadness across his features, brushing a hand gently across her forehead. He tucked her in one more time and leaned over to turn off the light, pulling the door closed behind them all but a crack as they leave.

Patrick slowly walked toward the front door, shoving his hands in his pockets and stopped with his back to Jonny, a tension in his shoulders that Jonny thought would be visible from space. Jonny could tell Patrick wanted him to leave but Jonny … couldn’t. Not without talking about whatever this was, about whatever was clearly hurting Patrick. He debated how to best handle it, not known for being emotionally gifted at even the best of times. But in the end, he settled for how he did most things, straightforward and honest.

“I’m not sure if you’re angry with me or embarrassed about something or worried that I won’t understand,” Jonny leaned against the doorframe outside of Mo’s room, talking in a low voice as he watched Patrick’s strong back. “But you could give me a chance. I promise I’ll try.”

“I know,” Patrick said softly, not turning around. “I know you would.”

The silence went on for a heavy moment. Patrick didn’t say anything, just stayed frozen in that same position, shoulders moving in a bit more of a ragged pattern to match his breathing.

“Patrick,” Jonny tried again softly, almost pleading. “Give me a chance here. If I’m reading something wrong or doing something wrong, I’m sorry – tell me how to fix it and I will.”

Patrick’s shoulders dropped a little. Jonny watched as he lifted an arm up and wiped away at his face, almost as if, fuck, as if he was crying.

“That’s kind of the thing, Jon,” Patrick shook his head a little and slowly turned, crossing his arms over his chest, not in defiance but as if he was protecting himself. It was hard to see is face in the dim late night living room, but Jonny could tell that he was staring at the floor. “The thing is,” Patrick took a deep shuddery breath. “You can’t help me. Not on this.”

Jonny’s frustration mounted, the earlier conversation with Sharpy still heavy in his mind. He was tired of dancing around this, tired of watching Patrick hurt, tired of not having what he wanted or understanding why he couldn’t.

“You’re so sure about that?” Jonny challenged. “You’re so sure that I’m incapable of being able to help or to at least understand. You’re so sure that I have absolutely no capability to …..”

He didn’t get to finish because Patrick’s head shot up and his eyes were on fire.

“I’m pretty fucking sure you’re not a girl!” he snapped. “Pretty sure I’m not either.”

Patrick’s face flamed up when he realized what he said, slamming his lips together and running his hands through his hair in frustration.

“I have zero clue what that has to do with anything,” Jonny stared at him, dumbfounded. Patrick sighed and stared at him, deflating.

“No idea, huh?” Patrick’s eyes bore into his.

Jonny swallowed, completely helpless at the way this was spinning out of control and blindsided by Patrick’s anger and frustration.

“Patrick,” Jonny started but Patrick held a hand up, all fight going out of him as quickly and bizarrely as it seemed to enter.

“It’s fine, Jon. Honest. I’m just tired or something. I’m sorry for snapping,” Patrick said, staring at a place over Jonny’s shoulder, not meeting his eyes any longer. “I’m sorry for … for whatever, for all of it. For being weird tonight and being bitchy or whatever.”

“You’re not bitchy,” Jonny sighed and started to walk forward, stopping when Patrick puts his hand up again.

“Look,” Patrick took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. “Look, you’ve been amazing. Seriously, you’ve been above and beyond here and I’m grateful for the way you’ve tucked us into your life and your friends and all of it. Really, I’m grateful.”

“But,” Jonny said softly, recognizing that there was another one coming.

“But,” Patrick exhaled and suddenly looked lost and exhausted. “But the truth is, I have to do some serious thinking about what the future is for Mo, about what she needs and where she needs it to be. She needs …. I think moving here may have been a mistake. I think it’s time for me to reevaluate what I’m doing.”

Jonny just stared at him for a minute, confused. He didn’t understand what Patrick was saying. At all. Patrick continued to stare at the floor.

“Don’t …” he started but stopped when Patrick exhaled again.

“Jon,” Patrick’s voice was soft, almost gentle. “Mo is everything to me. She deserves everything I can possibly give. No matter what I have to sacrifice in order to give it.”

“I know,” Jonny agreed, avidly. “She absolutely does. And you’re giving her everything.”

“Not everything, Jonny,” he said so softly that Jonny barely heard it. “I haven’t given her a mother.”

Jonny stared at him for a moment, at the top of his curls since he wouldn’t lift his eyes to Jonny’s face. Patrick couldn’t … he couldn’t be saying what Jonny thought he was saying. That would be the dumbest thing ever. That would be …

“She doesn’t … you can’t,” Jonny tripped over his tongue, rushing to try to make sense, to try to convince Patrick not to say what he thought he was saying.

“She’s a little girl and I’m a dumb man,” Patrick closed in himself as he spoke. “I try but I can’t … she deserves someone to braid her hair and talk softly to her and hug her close when she cries and …” his breathing was ragged and he held his fists up to his eyes. “And who is going to talk to her about boys? Who is going to tell her how to do her hair and what to wear to prom and how to paint her nails and do makeup and …”

Jonny didn’t even think about it, just marched up and grabbed Patrick’s wrists to pull his hands away from his face, staring down into his shocked eyes.

“You are,” Jonny said hoarsely. “You are going to do all of those things for her, with her. You already do. And what you can’t do, she will have your sisters and Abby and friends and me and Temi and Sharpy and whoever else is in her life that loves her because that’s what it’s about. It’s not about ovaries and soft skin and long hair, it’s about love, Patrick. It’s about helping her navigate life with whatever resources you have and whatever people who love her are in her life. You know this. Patrick. You’re not the kind of person to feed into stereotypes. Don’t do this. Don’t ….”

“You don’t get it,” Patrick shook his head, wrists still clenched in Jonny’s fists. “It’s … I can’t … she needs more than me, Jon. She needs more than what I can give her alone. I took her away from her aunts and grandmother because I arrogantly thought I could do it all but she’s the one that’s suffering.”

“Patrick,” Jonny tried to be calm. Patrick wasn’t just being dramatic. The anguish in his eyes was real and he was scared and convinced he wasn’t giving Mo the absolute best. “You’re doing everything you can. She’s not suffering anything. You have to know that.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Patrick whispered almost desperately.

“I’m not,” Jonny said fiercely.

“But what if you are,” Patrick said softly, eyes finally meeting Jonny’s. “Every child deserves a mother and a father, Jonny.”

“So, what are you saying here? Are you saying that can only be a woman and a man? Are you so bought into stereotypes that you can’t …,” Jonny’s voice hardened as he started to understand a picture he didn’t want to see. “So you’ll just force yourself to find some nice girl, get her to marry you, live a lie so that you can make sure a female body lives here and can fill a role that you are so sure you can’t make work any other way, are too cowardly to even try to make work in a different way.”

“I told you before,” Patrick jutted his chin up stubbornly. “I told you that there is nothing I won’t do to make that little girl happy. No sacrifice I won’t make.”

“So you think forcing yourself to live a lie and be miserable is worthy of that kid?” Jonny said harshly. “Because let’s leave aside how horrible that is to do to some nice woman, that’s a shitty thing to put on your kid and when she realizes it one day – and trust me, she will – then you’re going to break her heart.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Patrick shouted and wrenched his hands away. “You think it’s so easy? You think you’ve got it figured out? Talk to me when you’re done pretending to be a dad to my kid. Talk to me when you’re not a superstar athlete living a superstar solo life with no one to care for and nothing to come home to.”

Jonny felt blindsided.

He reared back as if Patrick had punched him. The knife of pain that went through his heart was unexpected and deep, carving into a core of loneliness that he tried desperately to keep locked away. And Patrick, of all people, callously opened it for mocking.

Patrick’s eyes were wide, as if perhaps he didn’t mean to say it. But he did, say it. He did. And he couldn’t unsay it. And even if he summoned to words to apologize, Jonny couldn’t unhear it.

Jonny stepped back and squared his shoulders. He felt brittle enough to crumble if Patrick so much as touched him.

“You know,” Jonny was surprised at how steady his voice was when he was basically imploding on the inside. “Putting aside the fact that I cannot believe that you are actually entertaining the most cliché and stupid stereotype about what makes a family. Putting aside the fact that you are scared and hurting right now. Putting aside that you are probably just exhausted and overwhelmed and emotional. I can put all of that aside. I can. But what I can’t put aside,” he took a deep breath and walked to the door, slowly pulling it open. “What I can’t put aside, is that you would rather hide behind that sweet little girl than be honest with me. That you would rather be cruel to me than admit what you’re actually feeling and communicate like an adult. That you would rather gut me with your words than face your fears. That’s what I can’t put aside. Because those things?” he swallowed and looked over his shoulder at where Patrick was watching him warily. “Those things make you a huge fucking coward. And that little girl deserves better from you than that. And so did I.”

Jonny never knew the impact his words had on Patrick. Because he walked away into the night without once looking back.

 

********************

If Jonny thought Patrick would be the less stubborn of the two of them and break first, he was sadly mistaken. He was still so fucking confused about what had even happened between them that night. It made no sense and felt like it came out of nowhere. Jonny wanted to reach out but he wasn’t sure he was allowed. It was confusing and frustrating and he couldn’t make sense of it. So he stayed silent.

It took three days of the stupid hopeful rise in his chest every time his text message alert buzzed, three days of sad “no rides today?” messages from Temi, and three days without the giggle of a color-clashed preschooler before Jonny let himself actually absorb the fact that whatever he had going on with Patrick was clearly over. And it gutted him to a depth he wasn’t prepared to admit.

It took Sharpy, however, exactly six days to call him on his bullshit.

Jonny was just settling into his seat for the flight back from Tampa, heart hurting and exhaustion from sleepless nights making him feel hollow and raw, when he felt a none-to-gentle slap to his shoulder, too much of a sting to have been well-intended.

“The fuck,” Jonny glared up to find Sharpy glaring down at him, face hard.

“Move over,” Sharpy ordered, voice as hard as his face.

“Go find another seat, Sharpy, you’re not funny,” Jonny replied, tone just as flat as Sharpy’s, completely not in the mood to deal with whatever it was Sharpy had planned.

“Probably because I’m not trying to be,” Sharpy all but damn near growled. “Move.”

Jonny threw his shit onto the seat by the window and took his sweet time moving into it, reaching down to grab his earphones which he slowly put into each ear, making sure Sharpy was watching.

“Hey guys,” Tony O stopped by and Jonny and Sharpy both looked up, Jonny removing his ear bud. “There’s some delay at the tower so it will probably be another half hour before we’re airborne. Just fyi.”

“Thanks, man,” Sharpy offered and Jonny nodded, resituating his earbud and turning to stare out the window, ignoring Sharpy completely.

He was just about to close his eyes and try to sleep when he heard a familiar giggle over the song playing in his ears.

“Hello Patrick Sharpy!” Jonny eyes snapped open and he turned his head swiftly to see Sharpy’s partially obscured phone on Facetime.

“Well hello Miss Mo!” Sharpy chuckled back, aware of Jonny watching but ignoring him. “What are you doing up so late?”

Jonny’s gut clenched and his hands tightened in his lap as he tried not to reach out and grab the phone away.

“It’s a Friday, Patrick Sharpy,” Mo rolled her eyes as if all adults were too dumb to understand. “I get to stayed up on Fridays. My dad said I could called you and say good job for your goal. So good job, Patrick Sharpy!”

“Well that means a lot coming from my biggest bestest fan,” Sharpy grinned at the screen and settled back against the seat. “What was your favorite part of the game, Miss Mo?’

“Well you didn’t winned so that wasn’t good,” she sighed sadly but then perked up. “But you scored the good goal and Jonny Toews scored the good goal, too.” She sombered again. “But then he got in the fight.”

“I wouldn’t actually call it a fight,” Sharpy grinned meanly. “Mostly he just hugged the guy a lot and tried not to fall down.”

Jonny was so engaged with watching Mo’s face that he didn’t even punch Sharpy for the obvious and easy mocking of Jonny’s stupidity.

“Is he …” her little eyes were wide and worried. “Is Jonny ok?”

“He’s still an idiot,” Sharpy said pointedly and then sighed. “But he’s ok.”

“I didn’t get to talked to him in so long, Patrick Sharpy,” she said sadly and Jonny’s wasn’t sure he ever felt as bad about himself as he did in that moment.

“I know, kiddo,” Sharpy said softly.

“I wished I knowed how to make him not be so busy,” she said, making it clear that Patrick had blamed a busy schedule on Jonny’s sudden absence in their days, not on Jonny himself. It made Jonny feel even worse to know that Patrick had very kindly not talked badly about him to her.

“I know, kiddo,” Sharpy sighed. “He’s just … Jonny’s just got some things he’s got to work through right now.” He turned and glared at Jonny, making it evident how much he hated lying for him and how little he though Jonny deserved it.

“If you see’d him, will you tell him I missed him and I loved him and I will be real good if he and Temi come to drive us somewhere again, okay?”

Jonny wanted to throw up. His eyes started stinging as he stared at the phone, desperately wanting to reach out and talk to her. He felt Sharpy watching him carefully.

“I’ll make sure he knows, kiddo,” Sharpy turned back and smiled softly at her on the screen. “I’m thinking he misses you and your dad just as much and hopefully he can get his shit figured out soon.”

“Patrick Sharpy!” she gasped. “That’s five dollars for the cussing jar!”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized and then winked at her. “I’ll pay up at your cookout on Sunday, okay?”

“Dad says don’t forget to bringed your better halfs,” she said sassily, making Sharpy huff out a laugh.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Sharpy snorted. “Tell your dad he and I are going to chat real soon about him getting his shit together too.”

“Patrick Sharpy that’s 2 of the money now!” she gasped delightedly.

“Okay, okay,” he smiled. “Goodnight, Miss Mo.” She waved and smiled brightly until he ended the call.

Jonny closed his eyes and slumped back against the seat, heart somewhere around his feet as feelings churned throughout his gut.

Sharpy let him sit quietly for a few long moments to process. But Jonny wasn’t fooled. He braced himself as the plane started down the runway, not just for the flight but for the words about to come.

“I asked you once,” Sharpy’s voice was deathly calm and low, “if you knew what you were doing. And I trusted that you had a clue. That was stupid of me. This is exactly what I was trying to warn you about but you didn’t listen.”

“I tried!” Jonny’s voice was loud, causing heads in the rows around them to turn his way. He lowered his voice. “I tried. It all went spectacularly sideways and I still don’t know why and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”

Sharpy turned and looked at him with eyes that glittered in the darkness.

“Fix it,” Sharpy said harshly. “Don’t talk about it, don’t wonder on it, don’t think about it. It’s not just about you and her idiot father. You don’t get to bounce in and out of her life like that and you two don’t get to be immature shitheads right now. There’s a very sad and confused little girl that deserves way better than what the two of you are doing to her. And there’s a single dad that deserves better from you than you’ve given. Just fucking fix it. Understood?” With that, he stood up and walked down the aisle.

Jonny leaned back in his seat. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to fix it with Patrick. The question was how.

“Is plan we sit here ‘til die?” Temi asked dryly from the front seat as they sat, car idling down the block from Patrick’s house for rapidly approaching a half hour.

“As long as I pay you, what do you care?” Jonny snapped and rubbed a hand across his face, other hand tightening around the ridiculous stuffed black rabbit in a hockey outfit wearing a tiara that he ordered from Build-A-Bear online.

Temi was silent for a moment, judging and glaring from the front seat through the rearview mirror.

“You is coward,” Temi said flatly after a long silence. “And dickhead.”

Jonny sighed.

“I’m sorry, Temi,” Jonny met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “You’re right.”

He stopped, not really sure how to finish the thought. Temi watched him thoughtfully in the mirror for a long quiet moment.

“What is big fear?” Temi asked, somewhat gently for him. Jonny shrugged and let his head fall back against the seat.

“Schroedinger’s cat, I guess,” Jonny stared up at the ceiling of the car, not sure that Temi would get the reference. Temi seemed to chew on it quietly for a moment.

“So cat get out of bag,” Temi shrugged. “Maybe cat be make purring on you. Maybe cat run down street and you need chase. Maybe cat scratch eyes out. Cat do what cat do. You no save scratches by sit in car. You just dread scratches you maybe not get. Is waste of time and worry when strong, warm cat and sad, tiny kitten wait for you to open bag and let love.”

So Temi did get it. And get it pretty damn well.

“There’s always the chance that the cat and kitten won’t … won’t want me back in their lives, too, though.” Jonny replied honestly, uncomfortably vulnerable in a way he rarely was. He was offended when Temi simply snorted.

“Sure,” Temi looked at him in the rearview mirror, face demonstrating just how stupid he thought Jonny was. “There always chance I strap on skates and be superstar in Columbus too. Me more likely do that than Patrick not make sex with you.”

“Temi!” Jonny was horrified.

Temi continued on, waving his hand as if dismissing Jonny.

“Is not sex make you scared,” Temi said firmly. “Is love. Love is make you stupid. But love is what you want most of all. Patrick too. Make sex just even more nice and fun. You can have all if you no be coward.”

“Your pep talks could use some work,” Jonny said flatly.

“Maybe,” Temi nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt. “But I right.”

Temi opened the door and climbed out, turning to look back into the car.

“You come?” he demanded.

“Uh,” Jonny swallowed and shook his head. “You go on. I’ll be up in a minute.” Temi narrowed his eyes and muttered something in Russian under his breath, shaking his head.

“Fine,” he sighed and dug into his pockets, throwing the keys over the seat to Jonny. “When you no longer be fraidy chicken, make sure to lock car.”

“It’s scaredy cat, asshole,” Jonny yelled at Temi’s back as he walked away toward Patrick’s brownstone. Temi responded with an extended middle finger and no look back.

Jonny sat back against the seat and absently stroked the stuffed rabbit’s paw. Temi may have slaughtered it in the delivery but he was dead on. There was only one way to know whether or not he and Patrick could move past this. And it wasn’t sitting in a car while holding a stuffed animal.

Jonny’s seat in the car gave him a perfect view of Patrick’s front door as Temi walked up to the porch. The door swung open and a beautiful young woman stepped out with a giant smile. Jonny’s heart leapt as he watched Patrick appear next to the woman, smiling widely at Temi. The heart plummeted when he watched Patrick casually tuck her under his arm and kiss the side of her head as the three of them walked into the house.

Well. That was …. Jonny was sick at the realization that Patrick had clearly made his decision and wasted no time in finding a woman. Wow. That was …. He never really thought Patrick would do it. And so fast. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it did. It wasn’t like Jonny had ever told him how he felt, maybe chickened out and assumed he should know. But even if he had, Patrick was a stubborn and determined little shit when he wanted to be and, in all fairness, he was doing it all for his daughter. Jonny would never agree but then again, it wasn’t really his place to have an opinion. He let that chance slip away and he would just have to deal with the consequences of inaction now … and forever.

He sighed as he contemplated leaving, calling another Lyft and sneaking away. But he had Temi’s keys and a stuffed rabbit with a little girl’s name on them. And she deserved his apology more than anything. So he squared his shoulders and got out of the car, locking it quietly behind him as he slowly walked toward Patrick’s house.

He stopped in front of the gate, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath to steel himself against whatever met him on the other side of the door. He was so focused on his self-psyching up that he didn’t notice a young woman approaching him from his right and juggling a bag of groceries until she almost bumped into him.

“Dropping off or indulging your inner child?” the girl’s voice was full of humor as she nodded down at the rabbit. She was very pretty and her grin was wide and dimpled.

“Oh,” Jonny blinked and blushed. “Dropping off, I guess.”

“Hmmm,” she cocked her head thoughtfully. “Some kind of surprise gift or is it a I-am-a-fucking-moron-please-forgive-me gift?”

Jonny’s head shot up and he looked at her, bristling at her rudeness when it suddenly dawned on him. He deflated.

“You’re one of the sisters, aren’t you?” he sighed in defeat.

“And you’re the asshole that broke my brother’s heart, aren’t you?” she fired back unapologetically. He winced.

“That’s not … he also … It wasn’t intentional,” he mumbled, eyes dropping to the ground.

“Cuz that makes it better,” she raised an eyebrow challengingly and shifted the bag on her hip.

“Listen,” Jonny’s voice was firm. Like this wasn’t hard enough. “He is … we both could have handled it better.”

“Good Lord, that’s true enough,” she snorted. “FYI, my brother is just as stupid as you are so the bar is super low on my expectations here.”

“You’re ….” Jonny gritted out.

“I’m what?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Challenging,” he narrowed his eyes. “You’re challenging.” For some reason, she seemed to take that as an honor rather than the criticism he intended and beamed.

“It’s a family trait, to be honest,” she grinned and stuck out her hand which Jonny took warily. “Erica Kane.”

“Jonathan Toews,” he replied cautiously.

“I’m aware,” she said dryly. “Well, Jonathan, you gonna stand out here and play with that rabbit all day or are you going to man up and knock on the door? Because these groceries are getting heavy.”

“Oh, sorry,” he snapped out of it and reached for the bag she was carrying. “Let me.” She snorted and waved him off.

“I got it,” she said, opening the gate, “You just focus on your gift. Which better be for Mo, by the way. Although Patrick is known to enjoy a good tiara once in a while.”

“I bet you terrorized him growing up,” Jonny said as they walked up the path. She shot a beaming grin over her shoulder at him.

“You have no idea,” she winked.

Jonny stopped, the door to Patrick’s apartment seeming suddenly far more intimidating. Things had not gone great the last time he was on the other side of that door – the only time he was on the other side of that door. Erica turned and looked at him quizzically. Her face softened as she seemed to realize the internal struggle Jonny was battling.

“I don’t suppose you would just want to take Temi his keys,” Jonny half-joked. She shook her head.

“Not a chance,” she said firmly. She sighed and shifted the bag on her hip. “Listen, my brother is a stubborn tool. Like, immovable stubborn when he thinks he is right. Especially when it comes to his daughter.”

“Yeah,” Jonny snorted softly. “I mean, that’s good. He should be. She should get the absolute best from him.”

“She does,” Erica agreed. “But he can convince himself of really stupid antiquated bullshit when he’s scared, okay? Just … he deserves to get the best too, you know? And for all his bravado, he’s can also be a chicken shit that hides behind his daughter rather than risk getting hurt.”

Jonny swallowed and nodded.

“But,” Erica continued, squinting up at the door before turning back to look at Jonny. “As much as I love all that he’s willing to do for Mo, he’s also a dumbass who makes things ten times harder than they have to be sometimes. Totally well intended, sure, but still a dumbass.” She flashed a grin and leaned in, “And trust me, I’ve spent the last two days and a few bottles of wine lecturing on that exact topic.”

“That’s …. Good, I guess?” Jonny looked down at the stupid rabbit in his hands. Erica exhaled heavily and bumped him with her shoulder.

“It is good,” she offered. “But he’s still as stubborn as they come so someone here is going to have to extend the olive branch. And I’m pretty sure it won’t be his stupid ass, no matter how many times I threaten to dunk his head in a toilet. So … understand what I’m saying here, Sport?”

Jonny nodded. He did understand. He just wasn’t …….

“Jonny Toews!” the screen door suddenly flew open and Jonny barely had time to kneel down and brace himself before a tiny colorful ball of child came flying at him and jumped into his arms, as he reflexively tightened his arms around Mo’s little frame. “I misseded you so much!”

Jonny buried his face in her little curls, tightening his arms even more.

“I missed you too, kiddo,” Jonny croaked, voice threatening to do something stupid.

Mo leaned back and beamed a grin into his face.

“But you’re here now so everything is so much gooder,” she reached up and grabbed his cheeks with her tiny hands.

“Better,” Erica corrected wryly.

“Better,” Mo smiled winningly and Jonny’s heart melted.

“Ugh,” Erica snorted. “Your face.”

“Aunt Erica is mean sometimes,” Mo not-whisper whispered to Jonny. “We could telled Gramma and she would have the words but Daddy says you just gotta ignore her and not show the fears.”

“Oh, does he now?” Erica drawled, eyes narrowing as she looked at the front door toward where Patrick was inside the house.

“Did you bringed a bunny?” Mo’s eyes widened as she ignored her aunt and took in the rabbit. Jonny carefully bent down and set her on the ground.

“I, uh,” Jonny thrust the rabbit out toward her. “I saw him at the store and he seemed really lonely so I thought maybe you could take care of him for me?” Mo looked up at him with eager eyes and nodded enthusiastically.

“I can taked real good care of him, I promise,” she reached out and pulled the rabbit to her chest. Jonny was so busy taking in the happiness on her face that he failed to notice someone else exiting the door.

“Well, well, well,” Sharpy’s voice rang out. “If it isn’t the prodigal Tazer.”

Perfect.

“Seriously,” Jonny bit out before thinking, “Is it a silver bullet? Is that what it’s going to take?” Erica barked out a surprised but approving laugh.

Jonny looked up to scowl at Sharpy and instead froze to see Patrick standing in the open doorway. Jonny extricated himself from Mo and stood up slowly, eyes never leaving Patrick’s.

“Dad, Dad,” Mo’s voice chattered excitedly, breaking Patrick out of it. “Look who comed to our cookout. Jonny Toews!”

“Came,” Patrick corrected, face giving away nothing. “And I see that.”

“And he brunged me this bunny,” she lifted it proudly in a very Simba-from-the-Lion-King kind of hold.

“Brought,” Patrick nodded, arms crossed over his chest. “That was nice of him. Did you say thank you?”

“Thank you so much, Jonny Toews,” Mo reached back in to hug him around the legs.

“You’re very welcome,” Jonny said softly as he ruffled her hair, his eyes not leaving Patrick’s.

“Gross. Are they always like this?” Erica’s voice was annoyed.

“Basically,” Sharpy’s sigh was long-suffering. “Sometimes it’s even worse.”

“Jesus,” Erica muttered. “No one should have to be exposed to this shit.” She shifted the bag on her hip and started up the stairs. “Hey, Mo, why don’t you come help gramma and me and Sharpy in the kitchen?”

“But,” Mo looked up at Jonny with imploring eyes. “But I haven’t see’d Jonny in a million years and ….”

“Jonny isn’t going anywhere, Mo,” Sharpy trotted down the steps toward her, just enough of a threat in his voice to make it clear that Sharpy would hunt him down and drag him back if he even tried to leave. “So, how about you hop up on my back and we go help your aunts and grandmother and let Jonny and your dad catch up for a minute.”

Mo stopped and peered up at Jonny’s face with eyes that seemed way to mature for her tiny frame. She pinned him with a long stare.

“Do you have the things you need to talk about with my dad, Jonny?” Mo demanded.

“Yeah, kiddo, I think we kind of do,” Jonny nodded and swallowed hard. She nodded back, seeming to be satisfied.

“Well good,” Mo said as she started to crawl up onto Sharpy’s hip, turning to give Jonny a stern look. “It’s ‘bout time the two of you been friends again. I don’t like it when you fighted.”

“We weren’t fighting,” Patrick started to defend himself and Mo shot him an equally stern look.

“They weren’t fighting, kiddo,” Sharpy said easily as he climbed the stairs. “They were just both being stupid.”

“Patrick Sharpy!” Mo scolded from atop his back. “That’s not a nice word.”

“It is, however, completely accurate,” Erica drawled as she followed them into the house, door swinging shut behind her.

Jonny didn’t move from his spot in the yard and Patrick stayed in his position on the porch, both staring at each other and neither making the first move. Jonny thought about Erica’s words and took a deep breath.

“I know it’s probably a dick move, showing up here unannounced,” Jonny started. Patrick just watched him, face still. “And I know I probably should have called…I hope this doesn’t make things weird with your girl.”

Patrick’s brow scrunched up in confusion.

“Mo is totally geeked you’re here, that’s hardly weird,” he offered.

“No,” Jonny amended, “girlfriend. Your new girlfriend. The one in the house.”

“The only girls in the house are my ….” Patrick stopped and screwed up his face. “Gross. My sisters.”

Jonny tried not to show the rush of relief.

“Sorry,” Jonny shrugged sheepishly. “I saw you on the porch when Temi walked up and assumed ….”

“Assumed that in, what, less than ten days,” Patrick’s voice was flat, “I had gone out and found a girl to bring home and meet my family. Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence on my powers, man. And for thinking I’m enough of a dick to do such a thing.”

“That’s not …” Jonny felt the frustration rising and stopped, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. “I don’t want to fight. God, I’m still not sure why we fought to begin with. But I promise I didn’t come here to make things worse. I came to … I want to apologize to Mo. And to you.”

Patrick watched him for a long quiet moment. Jonny waited tensely. He watched as Patrick exhaled heavily and dropped his arms to shove his hands in his pockets. He looked down at his feet.

“You don’t owe either one of us an apology, Jon,” Patrick said quietly. “Or at least, not any more than I owe you.”

He lifted his head and met Jonny’s eyes. They both just stared quietly at each other, neither seeming to know what to say.

The truth was, Jonny did know what he wanted to say. And standing there in the yard, he summoned his strength and squared his shoulders. He walked up to the bottom stair, the distance between them short enough that Jonny could see the dark circles under Patrick’s eyes from where he stood three steps up and staring down.

“Jon …” Patrick’s eyes were wide as he looked down and started to say something but the door opened behind him, cutting him off.

“Dinner’s almost ready, Patrick,” an older woman stepped out onto the porch behind him, working her hands through her hand-towel and watching Jonny warily.

“I know, Ma, but Jonny and I are ….” Patrick started.

“You have guests.” She walked down the stairs and reached out a hand. “Jonathan, I take it?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Jonny squeezed her hand and tried not to squirm under her shrewd gaze. “I’m sorry I interrupted your dinner.”

“I appreciate that,” she nodded and gave him a small smile. “But you didn’t interrupt anything. In fact, you’re our guest so why don’t you both come indoors and grab something to eat.”

“We will be in ….” Patrick started and she stopped him.

“Front yards in the middle of the day are not the places to have conversations,” she raised an eyebrow. “Your neighbors don’t need to see you and Jonathan in the front yard hashing out private matters. And you have a house full of guests right now that deserve your attention. Whatever it is you have to say to each other can wait.”

Patrick sighed heavily and turned to walk to the door, his mother following behind him. Jonny stood awkwardly at the step. Mrs. Kane stopped as she reached the door and turned back to look at him.

“We don’t generally hand out formal invitations, Jonathan,” she let a small smile toy around her lips. “Get in the house, son.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jonny coughed and quickly trotted up the stairs behind her.

**********  
Jonny kicked off his shoes as soon as he entered the door to his apartment, reaching down wearily to turn on the small foyer light. He quickly made his way to the bedroom to change into flannel pants and an old Blackhawks t-shirt before padding over to the refrigerator, reaching in and grabbing a bottle of water. He aimlessly wandered into the still dark living room to look out the large windows overlooking the Chicago night sky.

Dinner was …. Good. He guessed. Shit, he didn’t know. Everyone was fine and pleasant, the food was great. Mo was absolutely glued to his side, almost as if she was afraid he would disappear if she turned away. Which made him feel like a giant asshole once again.

Patrick had stayed mostly quiet, letting his sisters and Temi and Sharpy and Abby hold up the conversation while Maddie and Sadie and Mo watched a movie, Mo’s tiny frame tucked up under Jonny’s arm and along his side. Patrick didn’t seem angry. He simply seemed cautious, thoughtful.

When it was clear they weren’t going to have their time to clear the air, Jonny read Mo and the girls a bedtime story, promptly excusing himself to head home in a Lyft once she was asleep, urging Temi to stay behind and enjoy the evening. Sharpy had glared silently as Jonny made his goodbyes. Patrick simply nodded and quietly wished him a good night, face shuttered.

Jonny stood at the window for a long time, feeling off kilter and frustrated. He wasn’t one to suffer waiting patiently for long. He didn’t get where he was by hanging back and waiting for what he wanted to come to him. But with Patrick, everything was different. He couldn’t screw that up.

He jumped at the knock at his door. His eyes looked to the clock. It wasn’t super late, only a bit past ten o’clock, but late enough that no one should be visiting unexpected. Not to mention he had a doorman who had not called up to announce any visitors. Jonny crossed to the door and froze when he looked out the peep hole. He could have not been more shocked to see Patrick nervously chewing at his bottom lip on the other side.

“Uh hey,” Jonny opened the door, somewhat breathlessly. Patrick shoved his hands into his jean pockets, clearly tense and nervous.

“I’m not a stalker or anything,” Patrick blurted out. “Temi dropped me off and he knows where you live from all the Lyft rides and Sharpy knows your doorman so he called him and told him to let me up.”

“I ….” Jonny blinked and then shook his head, stepping back to open the door wider. “No, it’s totally fine. Come in.”

Patrick hesitated at the doorway, almost as if he was warring with himself on taking the step. Jonny watched as he seemed to make a decision, giving himself a firm nod and then brushing past. Jonny shut the door and turned around, somewhat dumbly watching Patrick as he carefully removed his shoes and set them on the mat.

“I thought only Canadians did that,” Jonny offered inanely. Patrick gave him a sharp look and then rolled his eyes.

“Americans can be polite too,” he bit back and then snapped his mouth shut before shoving his hands into his pockets and looking around the living room.

Jonny felt stupid, stuck with an awkward silence that seemed to drag on and on.

“Um,” Jonny offered dumbly and scratched at the back of his head.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Patrick exhaled in frustration and turned to pin Jonny with intense eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest and Jonny wondered what it was he felt like he needed to protect himself about.

“Listen,” Patrick took a deep breath. “I’m just going to … I think we need to ….” He paused and then threw up his arms in frustration. “What do you want, Jon?”

Jonny blinked. He knew what he hoped Patrick was saying but he didn’t want to guess wrong.

“I don’t …..” Jonny stammered.

“From me,” Patrick closed his eyes, almost as if summoning supreme patience. “What do you want from me?”

Jonny’s heart flipped three times in his chest. That was the eternal question wasn’t it.

Patrick opened his eyes again and stared at Jonny for a long time, neither speaking but a whole lot of thoughts seeming to fly across his face. Jonny’s brain was racing to catch up to the conversation, straining to think of a place to even start. Something in Patrick’s face shifted a little and his shoulders sagged, hands back into his pockets and gaze flopping to the floor.

“I mean,” Patrick ran a hand through his hair, still looking at the floor. “I mean, I thought maybe I knew. You know? Like maybe I understood what you were thinking. But then, when you never did or said anything, I figured I was misreading things. So then I was like, okay, it’s whatever. Be friends. You can just be friends and that’s fine because you need to focus on your kid, Patrick. I need to do right by her. Maybe move home, maybe figure people who could be ‘motherly’ and help her when I can’t.”

It was like Patrick was having a conversation with himself and Jonny struggled to follow along. The more Patrick talked the more he rambled, faster and faster. “

And then everything went to shit and I was so frustrated because why can’t I have both, right? Why can’t I have a kid and be happy and have what I want? But then you wouldn’t say anything and I got so angry and Erica and Sharpy said ….”

“Whoa, Patrick,” Jonny tried to interrupt but Patrick plowed forward.

“But then you didn’t say anything and we fought and you never called,” Patrick looked up, hurt in his eyes. “You never called and you never … and I figured I blew it and I should have apologized but I never knew what you were thinking and shit, I have zero experience in this stuff and I have a kid, for fucks sakes. I can’t be pining over ….”

Jonny’s heart grew wings and flew out of his chest as he started to cotton onto what Patrick was trying to say.

“Patrick,” Jonny stepped in, putting his hands on Patrick’s agitated shoulders, interrupting him a little breathlessly. “Patrick.”

“What?” Patrick snapped and looked up at Jonny. He stopped suddenly, realizing how close Jonny was, where Jonny’s hands were on his upper biceps, thumbs rubbing circles in the muscle.

“Ask me again,” Jonny said, hope filling his chest.

“Huh,” Patrick asked, staring at Jonny a little dumbly.

“Ask me again,” Jonny ordered softly.

Patrick blinked repeatedly, eyes searching Jonny’s as they both finally landed on the same page.

“What,” Patrick’s voice was barely audible as he stared up into Jonny’s face. “What do you want from me, Jon?”

“Everything,” Jonny exhaled. “Every damn thing you will give me.” He amended, fully honest.

“Everything?” Patrick croaked, almost as if he couldn’t make the word make sense in his head. Jonny stepped closer, tightened his hands until Patrick had to tip his head back to look up at Jonny with wide eyes.

“Everything, Patrick,” Jonny smiled softly. “I want your friendship, I want your smile, I want your time, I want your heart. I want you to stay here in Chicago. I want to take you to fun places and spoil the shit out of you and your daughter. I want to show you both off to the world and at the same time, I want to spend nights alone just laughing and smiling together. I want to help you see what an amazing parent you are and that we can do it as well as any ‘normal’ couple. Because I know we can. And I want to date you. And,” he let his voice drop lower, “I think I want to eventually spend a lifetime getting to know your heart, your mind, your worries, and not least of all, your body. I. Want. Everything.”

Patrick stared up at him, mouth open dumbly.

“Why the fuck did you not say anything?” Patrick asked, eyes roaming Jonny’s face as Jonny slowly backed him up to the wall.

“Because I’m a moron,” Jonny let a smile grow on his face, sliding his hands down to Patrick’s waist. “Because you’re just as dumb.” He let his smile grow even wider at the way Patrick’s brow furrowed at that. “Because I think your kid is going to be the smartest one of the three of us. And because,” he stopped and quieted for a moment. “And because I’m a coward. Because I gave myself all kinds of excuses. I told myself that you just needed a friend, that you didn’t want me like that. I convinced myself that you were just lonely and that I was befriending a really nice guy and his kid, nothing more than that. I told myself that I was reading too much into it and you were just being cool. I told myself that I just really liked hanging with you and your kid and it was nothing more than that.”

Jonny took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair before continuing.

“And then I realized that my feelings were way deeper than that. But I was … fuck, I was scared of ruining everything and hurting you and hurting Mo. And I’m sorry, Patrick. I really am. I hope you can give me a second chance because nothing would make me …..”

Jonny never got to finish whatever soliloquy he planned to give because Patrick lurched off the wall and attacked Jonny’s lips with his own. Jonny didn’t need to be asked for more. He pushed Patrick back against the wall and finally got with the program.

“We will talk eventually,” Patrick gasped in between kisses as Jonny moved to his neck. “I promise we will talk eventually and we can … fuck … both apologize and be grown-ups and communicate fully. Because there’s a shit ton to talk about.”

“Hmmm,” Jonny agreed as he worked his way up to Patrick’s ear.

“We’ll use full sentences and everything,” Patrick whimpered as Jonny reached down to slide his hands around to his ass, never lifting his head as his mouth traveled the soft pale skin of Patrick’s throat.

“We’ll even use punctuation, maybe even emojis,” Patrick whined as Jonny pressed flush against him. Jonny lifted his head, staring down with half-lids at the flushed and panting face before him.

“Patrick?” Jonny reached up and brushed a thumb across his lip.

“Yeah?” Patrick said dazedly.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Patrick complied.

They made out for a long time, finally moving from the wall to Jonny’s oversized sectional in the living room, taking long moments to get to know each other’s taste and feel. It took every muscle and ounce of determination and willpower in Jonny’s body to stop and pull back a little, regretfully stopping Patrick with a gentle hand to his chest.

“What?” Patrick growled, trying to move back in for more.

“Listen,” Jonny said with a chuckle. “This is serious.”

“Oh my God, why are you like this?” Patrick groaned, laying back and throwing a hand over his eyes.

“Hey,” Jonny nudged him with his knee until he cracked an eye open crankily in Jonny’s direction.

“What?” he grumped.

“Other than,” Jonny sprawled out along Patrick’s side, resting his head on his hand where his elbow propped him up so he could look down at Patrick’s face. “Other than the night Mo was conceived, have you ….?”

It was just a hunch but the way Patrick’s face turned beat red confirmed his inexperience. And there was just enough caveman hindbrain in Jonny to be immeasurably pleased.

“Patrick,” Jonny prodded when Patrick didn’t speak.

“What?” Patrick snapped and exhaled heavily. “This may come as a shock to you but being a single dad doesn’t really give you a lot of time for clubbing and picking up randoms. And shocker, not a lot of guys want to date a dude with a kid. It just hasn’t …” Patrick swallowed and closed his eyes. “It just hasn’t been a priority.”

“You’re a twenty-six year old virgin. How is that even possible?” Jonny wasn’t mocking. Not at all. In fact, he was kind of breathless and awed.

“Fuck you, I’m not a virgin. You’ve met my kid for fuck’s sake,” Patrick’s eyes shot open and he looked like he was getting ready to launch an attack. Until he noticed that it wasn’t mockery on Jonny’s face.

“You’re a virgin in the way that counts, Patrick,” Jonny nodded slowly as it dawned on Patrick. “P.S., I’m not upset about that in any way at all, just so we’re clear here.”

Patrick let a soft smile relax his features, bringing his arm down to run his hand along Jonny’s arm which was resting on Patrick’s stomach.

“Yeah?” he asked, equal parts shy and smug. He gently trailed his hand up and down Jonny’s arm, smile shifting into something a little more flirtatious. “That do it for you, stud?”

Jonny wanted to shove his ass off the couch. Instead he just swallowed hard and decided to give Patrick a run for his money. No one should allowed to be that smug.

“Does that do it for me?” Jonny let his fingers trail along the sliver of skin that was exposed between the hem of Patrick’s shirt and the waistband of his jeans, gently skimming the pale skin and blond hair, voice dropping as he watched Patrick shiver. “Does the fact that only Ellie has ever gotten to know that part of you? The fact that you’ve never been with someone you actually are attracted to? The fact that no one has been able to watch your face as they walk you through what your body can do, hear your gasps and swallow your cries as you come? Does that get to me?”

He watched Patrick swallow hard, eyes half-lidded and glued to Jonny’s face.

“Yeah, Patrick,” he whispered, reaching down to let his lips trail along Patrick’s ear lightly. “I’d say it kind of does.” Patrick was shivering, gulping in air like it no longer exists and all of that just from some light touches and teasing words. That was no tiny ego stroke for Jonny.

But it also humbled him. The significance of what would happen between them at some point. It wasn’t a tiny deal. It was actually quite possibly one of the greatest gifts and responsibilities he had ever been given. And because he knew himself, he knew that this was going to be a lifelong decision. He went ten days without Patrick and Mo in his life after he met them. He had no plans to ever do that again.

Jonny leaned back up, taking in Patrick’s dark eyes and flushed cheeks and gritting his teeth. Taking every ounce of strength and will power that he had, pulling back as he reached down to clutch Patrick’s hands in his own.

“But here’s the thing,” he said quietly, seriously, nudging Patrick out of his daze. “I’m kind of gone for you, man. Not just a little, not just fooling around, not just hooking up. So we’re gonna wait. I’m going to give you time to come to understand exactly what I’m saying, exactly what life with me is going to be like. I know we’re kind of going from zero to sixty here, but I’m not going to fuck around with hiding how I feel or what I want this to be. You’re too important and Mo is too important. I’m in here for the long haul.”

He watched as the realization of what he was saying dawned on Patrick’s face.

“So I guess the real question,” Jonny whispered as he looked down into Patrick’s face. “is what do you want, Patrick?”

**************  
Epilogue

“Hey Peeks,” Jonny called over his shoulder, eyes narrowing as he and Temi and Sharpy stood together watching the nervous young men with corsages in their hands exit the car with their parents and up Sharpy’s front side walk toward the house. “Do we have a gun? I feel like I should have a gun right now.”

Patrick walked up behind him and shoved them all back from the door with a heavy sigh, reaching down to open it as the group approached on the other side.

“Don’t scare these poor kids and their parents,” Patrick said warningly. “It’s Mo and Maddie’s first dance. Don’t ruin it by being all Captain Serious Dad and His Two Annoying Sidekicks.”

“Don’t to worry,” Temi whispered to Jonny in a low voice. “I to handle this. I drive them. Hands will be easy for to break and bodies will never to be found.”

“You do what you gotta do, man,” Sharpy said approvingly. He turned to Sadie who was sacked out on the couch, playing on her cell phone. “Sadie,” he barked. “You’re not allowed to date until you’re thirty.”

“Whatever you say, Dad,” she drawled without looking up.

Jonny wasn’t the slightest bit ashamed to put a fist out silently to bump Temi’s as he stretched and stood to his full height, game face on.

Patrick rolled his eyes as he opened the door. Jonny was about to step forward for introductions when Abby’s voice rang out from upstairs.

“Jonny,” she called. “Can you come here please? We have a tiny emergency and Mo needs you.”

Introductions forgotten in the face of Mo’s needs, Jonny left Sharpy and Temi to harass the boys and bounded up the stairs. He smiled as Maddie walked out in her tasteful silver formal dress, already a budding beauty at thirteen. Hardly a surprise with the attractive parents that gave her life.

“Looking good, Mads,” Jonny smiled and put a fist out.

“I know,” she said confidently, ever her father’s daughter.

“And humble too,” he snorted as she winked over her shoulder and headed down the stairs.

“Hey, Jonny,” Abby stepped out behind Maddie with a soft smile.

“Everything okay?” He asked. He was too used to pre-teen drama to get prematurely worried about what may constitute an “emergency.” Some days, an emergency was not finding a purple sock. Jonny learned to pace himself on emergencies.

“Yep,” Abby smiled reassuringly. “Mo just needs your help with something.”

“On it,” Jonny nodded firmly and stepped into the room.

His breath caught and his eyes threatened to do something really stupid like tear up when he caught Mo standing before her mirror.

She still loved her colors, still wore them all proudly and without shame. But as she had grown, influence from Abby and her aunts had helped her to learn how to pair them in a bit more of a subtle way and the lovely light blue chiffon dress with bold flowers was tasteful and gorgeous. As Jonny stared, he noted her young adult beauty but, really, all he really ever saw when he looked at her was the magical, funny, color-mismatched four year old he met so many years ago.

“Hey, Papa,” Mo smiled and turned to him, unaware that she still made his heart stop every time she called him that.

“You look amazing, kiddo,” he blinked rapidly. “Did you need something?”

“Yeah,” she turned and grabbed an eyeliner off the desk. “Abby tried to help but you’re just better at the angles.” She extended the pen to him.

Jonny hadn’t lied to Patrick that day in his apartment so many years ago – raising Mo was an all-hands on deck thing where Patrick was never alone in meeting her needs. Each of the people in her life helped but Jonny and Patrick were blessed with the task of raising her. And if it meant that Jonny discovered a secret talent for applying eyeliner to his adopted daughter, well, it was just a badge he wore proudly.

He stood over her, carefully and meticulously drawing the line as perfect as he ever had, well aware that while Mo tended to be pretty drama-free, a first dance was a big deal and he did not need to be the reason for tears at ruined makeup.

“You know you don’t need this crap, right,” he murmured lowly as he drew. “You’re absolutely perfect without it.”

“I know,” she fought back a grin, trying to be still as he finished. “But I got my dad’s eyes so I might as well flaunt them a bit, eh?”

“Don’t let your dad hear that or his ego will keep him from being able to walk through the door,” Jonny snorted.

“Her dad heard,” Patrick’s voice was amused from the doorway.

Jonny turned to find him leaning against the doorframe. Jonny's heart melted at the sight of their infant son, PJ, leaning against his father’s shoulder, tiny hand curled around an errant curl. PJ was an unexpected and humbling miracle courtesy of surrogacy and Patrick's sister, Jess. And seeing him nestled in Patrick's arms could still take his breath away, sappy as it sounded. Patrick watched Jonny, a soft smile creeping across his face as if he knew exactly what Jonny was feeling.

“You guys will never stop being gross, you should know that about yourselves,” Mo sighed and rolled her eyes as she reached down to grab her purse.

“I remember when you were a sweet young girl who absolutely adored her fathers and thought they were the best thing in the world,” Patrick sighed in mock longing as he gently rubbed the baby’s back.

“I think you’re confusing yourselves with Sharpy,” she grinned evilly and walked over to plant a quick peck on Patrick’s cheek and then another on her brother’s cheek, tickling at his little ribs until he squirmed and giggled against Patrick's chest.

“Your sister is a smart a… aleck, PJ,” Patrick whispered to his son. He stopped and looked at his daughter, blinking rapidly as he watched his baby girl turning into a beautiful young woman right in front of him.

“Now THAT I get from you,” she retorted sassily, rolling her eyes and reaching up to wipe at a lone tear on Patrick’s cheek. “Quit being such a sap.”

“And that sass, she gets from her aunts,” Jonny raised an eyebrow and Mo laughed. She swept back over to reach up and give Jonny a hug.

“I think they will be pleased to hear that,” she smiled indulgently as he reached fussed with her hair.

“Will these boys behave?” Jonny narrowed his eyes and asked, suddenly not ready to let her walk down stairs and take another step toward growing up.

“I’ll break their noses if they don’t,” she said with firm confidence, having picked up some keen self-defense lessons from Temi over the years. Lessons that Jonny was no longer ashamed to have let happen.

“And that ability, she gets from her mom,” Patrick smiled softly as she whipped her head around and grinned widely.

Patrick walked over and turned, settling his back against Jonny’s chest as Jonny reached down to encircle Patrick and PJ in his arms, tucking his chin over Patrick's shoulder. PJ smiled toothlessly at his father and batted at his face until Jonny kissed at his tiny hand.

Mo gathered up the last of her things and started toward the stairs.

“Hey,” Jonny called out over Patrick’s shoulder, “Just curious. If you get all of those traits from all of those people, what do you get from me?”

Mo stopped and turned to look at her fathers, smiling softly as her eyes met Jonny’s.

“That’s easy,” she smiled sweetly, eyes shining. “Love. From you, I always got love.”

 

The end.

"


End file.
